Imagine these possible scenarios!
Your son’s teacher calls and informs you that your child
threw a pencil at Sandy in class. When you ask your child about the incident,
your child tells you that Sandy through the pencil at him.
You walk into your living room and catch your daughter tossing a ball only to notice that one of your
house plants have been knocked over. An array of dirt is scattered heavily on the floor. When you ask your child about the incident, she insists that it was
the ball and not her that knocked over your beloved Yucca house plant.
Do any of these stories sound familiar?
Much like the game of dodge ball, over and over again
children duck and dodge taking responsibility for their own behavior. They will
find some way to shift the blame and place themselves as the victim in the
situation. Some children are so good at it that you may find yourself
agreeing with the child. I know parents who have been convinced that it was the ball and not their child that knocked over the plant.
Children who fail to take responsibility for their actions become adults who fail to take responsibility for their actions.
So how do you take this common situation and treat it before
it becomes a pathological condition that remains with the child well into
adulthood?
The Victim Syndrome is a pathological condition where people
repeatedly blame others for mistreatment when the source of their problems
lies within themselves.
The 3 Parts to the Victim Syndrome.
1. Victim- The victim continuously makes flawed
judgments and is continuously unwilling to take responsibility. It’s the “Say
it wasn’t You!” Complex. It’s All the other person’s fault.
2. Rescuer- These are the people that the victims go after to be rescued. In
many two parenting households, victims often choose one of the parents to be the
rescuer. The rescuer is the person the victim runs to in order to feel better.
3. Persecutor- The persecutor is the person the victim
says is responsible for whatever it is that has happened to them. What’s
interesting is that the rescuer oftentimes becomes the persecutor. As soon as the rescuer wises up and recognizes the victim is failing to take responsibility, the victim now has a new person
to shift the blame. Thus, the rescuer is
now one of the victims many persecutors.
What’s amazing about the Victim Syndrome is that we see
this over and over again in our adult relationships. I feel compelled to write
another blog on this same topic showing how children who grow up as victims
become adults that ruin many aspects of their lives because they fail to take
responsibility.
-Job Instability
-Failed Relationships
-Financial Irresponsibility
-Academic Failure
-Lack of Friends
I bet we all know some adults that love to play the victim.
The tips and information in my Free Webinar will be beneficial for adults too.
The victim syndrome dates back to Genesis. It dates back to Adam and Eve when
Adam blamed Eve for the consumption of the forbidden fruit. Eve then blamed the serpent. If you think that playing the victim syndrome
won’t lead to bigger problems, think again.
I’m excited that we can treat this condition and not just
put a band-aid on it. Parents are key to
being a home remedy for this behavior so it will not spread as the child gets older.
To get access to the webinar click on the link http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR You do not have to watch this webinar live in real time. Feel free to
listen to it in your spare time at your leisure. http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR
Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education. Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships. With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements. You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com