6 Parenting Tips to Help Teens Prepare for Standardized-Tests!

As a teacher in the state of California, I embark on the task of proctoring several standardized-test to teenagers every school year. The PSAT (Preliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test), SAT, (Scholastic Aptitude Test) ACT,(American College Test) CST (California Standards Test), and the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) are just a few of the test that I administer to students annually. I know that my teacher friends in other states have there set of test which makes the issue of standardized-testing one that is nationwide. Regardless of how parents, teachers, and teens may feel about the amount of testing that's done in today's school, the fact remains that testing is a reality for all students. In fact, in order for today's students to graduate high-school, most must pass a standardized-test known as the High School Exit Exam. So while the debate continues concerning the amount and quality of standardized-testing, my responsibility as a teacher is to ensure my students are prepared. As much of a duty I have in preparing my students to take tests, experience has proven that when parents and teachers join forces, it results in a more successful outcome.

When parents include these tips in their household, teens become better prepared and have an overall better testing experience.

Tip #1.  Sit Down and Have a Test Talk.

Like a pep-talk, a test-talk is a great way to let your child know that you are aware of what's taking place at school.  Many of today's standardized-test are similar or the same type of test that were given during the time period the parents were in school. Did you ever take the SAT? Have you ever had test anxiety? Don't hesitate to share that you have taken standardized-test during your years in school. When teens are able to break the ice and let go of there anxiety, it makes a dramatic difference when they enter the testing room.

Tip #2 Print Out Practice Questions

Most, if not all standardized test have practice release questions that can be accessed online. As a teacher, I gather many resources online. I wish I could say there's some secret society of testing information only available to teachers,  but the truth now is that there is a plethora of information accessible to anyone who knows how to navigate the world wide web. Print out practice test questions with the answers and have your child work on the practice questions. You can check your child's answers with the answer sheet provided on the page. Being a teenager, doesn't mean that the child is too old to sit at the table and do homework under your direction. They may put up a fuss, but so many teenagers tell me that's what they desire from their parents.

Tip #3 Positive Affirmations! 

Provide your child with positive affirmations and teach them how to do positive self-talk. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a teenager say, "I'm no good at test." I could retire and spend my days relaxing on my own private island. Teenagers have so much negative self-talk going on in their head that positive affirmations are essential to the self-esteem of  a child before, during, and even after a standardized-test. Positive Affirmations need to be your child's go to method for building his/herself up daily. Use your position as a parent and teach your child how to incorporate daily affirmations. It doesn't matter if you choose the affirmations from a bible, an affirmation book, or the internet; teaching your teen how to engaged in positive self talk works wonders!

Tip #4. Make Sure Your Teen Gets Enough Sleep.

This is an oldie but goodie tip. We have heard this one for years and while many teens may think its unrealistic for their parents to do a "lights out" on them the night before the test, it certainly is beneficial. Make sure your child is in the bed early enough the night before testing. Even if your child does not fall asleep immediately, the stillness of the night will have a calming effect that your teen will benefit from.

Tip #5.  Punctuality is Everything.

Make sure your child is EARLY to school on test day. Many schools have alternate bell schedules for testing and usually have students report to a different testing site.  While small changes may not seem like a big deal, showing up to Period 1 in building 4  right on time turns into being very late when the testing site for the day is in the Library located on the 2nd floor of building 2. The extra minutes lost can easily add to the child's testing anxiety and result in increase stress levels. Ensuring your child arrives early allows the your teen time to get settled and relaxed before the issuing of the test.

Tip #6.  Follow Up For Reflection.

Let's not have our teens take the test only for it to become a forgotten feat. Instead, lets put on some accountability and some reinforcement. Again, its a tag-team partnership that the parent and teacher embarks into to ensure the ultimate level of success for the child.  You can have this reflection at Yogurtland, over a game of chess, or while splitting a slice of pound cake at your local Starbucks.  The important things to include with the reflection is to make a moment out of it with your teen. Many times following up appears to be a lecture of some sorts to teens, so having it in a relax environment puts the teen off the defense. The social outing helps to provide a sense of community and illustrates that education is important in the child's household.

To learn more parenting tips or to audit a certified parenting course for FREE, send your email to sshiradillo@gmail.comAll classes are currently being held in Los Angeles, CA at various locations or your can join one of the over the phone programs.

 Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.

Is Your Child Apart Of The Victim Syndrome?

Imagine these possible scenarios!

Your son’s teacher calls and informs you that your child threw a pencil at Sandy in class. When you ask your child about the incident, your child tells you that Sandy through the pencil at him.

You walk into your living room and catch your daughter tossing a ball only to notice that one of your house plants have been knocked over. An array of dirt is scattered heavily on the floor. When you ask your child about the incident, she insists that it was the ball and not her that knocked over your beloved Yucca house plant.

Do any of these stories sound familiar?

Much like the game of dodge ball, over and over again children duck and dodge taking responsibility for their own behavior. They will find some way to shift the blame and place themselves as the victim in the situation. Some children are so good at it that you may find yourself agreeing with the child. I know parents who have been convinced that it was the ball and not their child that knocked over the plant.

Children who fail to take responsibility for their actions become adults who fail to take responsibility for their actions. 

So how do you take this common situation and treat it before it becomes a pathological condition that remains with the child well into adulthood?

Click here for information on how to teach your child to take responsibility for their actions.

The Victim Syndrome is a pathological condition where people repeatedly blame others for mistreatment when the source of their problems lies within themselves.

The 3 Parts to the Victim Syndrome.

1. Victim- The victim continuously makes flawed judgments and is continuously unwilling to take responsibility. It’s the “Say it wasn’t You!” Complex. It’s All the other person’s fault.

2. Rescuer- These are the people that the victims go after to be rescued. In many two parenting households, victims often choose one of the parents to be the rescuer. The rescuer is the person the victim runs to in order to feel better.

3. Persecutor- The persecutor is the person the victim says is responsible for whatever it is that has happened to them. What’s interesting is that the rescuer oftentimes becomes the persecutor.  As soon as the rescuer wises up and recognizes the victim is failing to take responsibility, the victim now has a new person to shift the blame. Thus, the rescuer is now one of the victims many persecutors.

What’s amazing about the Victim Syndrome is that we see this over and over again in our adult relationships. I feel compelled to write another blog on this same topic showing how children who grow up as victims become adults that ruin many aspects of their lives because they fail to take responsibility.

Here's a list of just a few of the problems that a child who does not get the victim syndrome handled experience as an adult.

-Job Instability

-Failed Relationships

-Financial Irresponsibility

-Academic Failure

-Lack of Friends

 The list can go on and on.  In my FREE Webinar, I will be teaching you how to recognize the victim syndrome in your child and how to distinguish this characteristic before it festers into a full blown pathological condition that can cause all types of problems throughout your child's life.

I bet we all know some adults that love to play the victim. The tips and information in my Free Webinar will be beneficial for adults too. The victim syndrome dates back to Genesis. It dates back to Adam and Eve when Adam blamed Eve for the consumption of the forbidden fruit. Eve then blamed the serpent.  If you think that playing the victim syndrome won’t lead to bigger problems, think again.

I’m excited that we can treat this condition and not just put a band-aid on it.  Parents are key to being a home remedy for this behavior so it will not spread as the child gets older.

To get access to the webinar click on the link http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR You do not have to watch this webinar live in real time. Feel free to listen to it in your spare time at your leisure. http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

Top 3 Private Places That Are Now Public On Social Media!

Lets face it. Everyone enjoys their privacy. It's the reason why we have locks on our doors, passwords on our accounts, and keys to our diaries that hold the innermost secrets to our heart. For many people in today's generation, journals, photo albums, and other keepsakes are becoming extinct because, let's face it, with a click of a button we can just post it on social media. This electronic database on the web now documents and publishes what use to be our most private thoughts and intimate memories. It makes me sometimes yearn for the good old days when we had designated locations to be ourselves, exposed our inner freaks, and ironed out our dirty laundry. Instead with the click of a button and a social media account, confidentiality now becomes a reality for all to read, watch, degrade, mock, and dote on.

So here are my top 3 places that are losing its privacy because its now being played out on social media instead of where it was intended to play out.

1. The Bedroom. The bedroom is the most intimate place in the home.  It was where "ALL THE MAGIC" happened. Today we can see that magic with one finger click on social media.  It was one thing when internet porn became a spreading breed, but social media is with many of the people we personally know. It is where we meet up with old and new friends, family members, and people that one can easily run into at the corner store. Unfortunately, what happened last night in a person's bedroom can easily be seen on a social media newsfeed instantaneously. The delete button is not the solution. People need to think twice before they post a picture, video, or a descriptive essay of what's going on in the bedroom. What a person does in their bedroom is truly their business; not the world's business. 

2. The ManCave. Remember how Al Bundy from Married with Children would go in his basement, and Dan from Rosanne would go in his garage?  Every man needs a man cave. A place where men can go and be men. They can tuck their hands comfortably in their crotch, drink beer, and look at naked pics of women in provocative poses until their hearts content. Now, the ManCave can easily be seen at a social media timeline near you. I won't go into detail of all that is said and done in a Man Cave but I will say that it was meant to be private. Sometimes women don't need to see that side of a man and sometimes men need to be able to be men without the subconscious influence of other women.

3. The Closet. Do you remember that "closet" where people would keep their skeletons? That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Some skeletons need to remain in the closet. All 5,000 of your Facebook friends or twitter followers do not need to know your skeletons. And let me tell you something, they are not going to tell you there's anything wrong with you exposing your skeletons because your life tragedies are apart of their entertainment enjoyment. There are a host of things that's going on that do not need to be aired out all over social media. Do Your Work and Fix Your Life! Empty out the skeletons in your closet with a counselor, therapist, or life coach that can actually help you and not on your social media where you become the entertainment of hundreds of people who are tuned into your page like you're a ratchett reality star.

It's not social media's fault that what was once private and secluded is now public. It's the individual users that choose to be too much of an open book. The bedroom, man-cave, and closet kept people out of your business. Now everyone is in everyone else's business and yet it's......None of their business!

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

Is your child's school prepared for an Arapahoe HS, Sandy Hook, Columbine situation? Check out These Tips to Get Prepared!!!

One of the trainings this year for me and my fellow teachers before the start of the school year was an active shooter training led by the Los Angeles School Police.  In awake of Sandy Hook and several other school shootings, the police department made it a priority to educate teachers and other school personnel on what to do in such a dangerous situation.  If you are a parent like I am, you want to be able to rest assure that your child is safe while at school and away from your presence throughout the day.  While there is no way to guarantee safety, there are ways to make sure your child's school is prepared in case an active shooter is on campus.

1. Figure Out What’s Going On. Build Your Awareness.- 

The more a person knows about what’s going on, the better decisions the person will make.  Knowing the location of the active shooter is key in helping the child's school make a sound decision on what action to take next.

2. Find A Way To Survive.- Studies have shown that people who survived a life-threatening situation all had survival as their focus.  Instead of fearing being hurt, or thinking that you don’t want to die, change your thoughts into the positive and focus on Surviving. 

3. Be Well Trained For Emergencies.- Having occasional drills for the staff to know what to do in an active shooter situation, as strange as that may sound to a more "seasoned" population,  can help better impact everyone. Knowing where the exit and emergency doors are key?

4    4. Don’t Forget That You Can Leave The School.- In times pass, teachers were told that they must stay on campus at all times and cannot take kids off campus without parent permission. It was noted that teachers sometimes try to hide and protect their students in the classroom  in active shooter type situations and become“sitting ducks”. Now the police officers are spreading awareness that if one can, teachers may take the students off campus to a safe location.  Don’t wait for the active shooter to   “accidently” come across you. Leave.

5   5. If all fails, you may have to Fight Back. If you find yourself in the room with an active shooter, don’t be afraid to collectively Fight Back. Yes, I was surprise about this statement too, but police officers say that the victims almost always in a school setting out-number the shooter.  If the shooter is an “Active” shooter the officers advised coming together to throw books, charge the gunman, spread out, do whatever one need. In a case where it is inedible that someone is going to get hurt, fighting back  can possibly decreased the number of injuries.  (i.e. Think about the passengers on the flight to Pennsylvania during 911 when they collectively took down the terrorist.)

All and all, there is no way to guarantee safety if there is an active shooter at your child’s school. I know that everyday I teach my son to be a beacon of love as I hope that he will keep love surrounding him. Perfect love casts out fear.  However, since this isn’t a perfect world, and we cannot ever be completely safe, it is helpful to know what teachers, (like myself) are being taught to protect children. I teach in a high school in South Central, Los Angeles and I know if the day ever comes where there is an active shooter, I pray that my inner-spirit guides me to keep every single child safe. Ultimately, “When in doubt, trust your gut.”  Allow your gut, that infinite intelligence part of you to guide and protect you, your love ones, and your community in a state of emergency.

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher and author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  A non-fiction book geared toward teenagers, teachers and parents about the honest reality of social issues that teenagers face and how to survive them. Order a book for yourself at amazon.com or purchase some for a gift.  

Click to order Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues

LOVE OR FEAR: WHAT GUIDES YOUR PARENTING?

It has been said that there are only two motivating forces in life.

These forces are Love and Fear. 

When we operate in love we are operating at our best self.

When we parent in love we are parenting at our best self.

In order for an adult to improve the situations in the home between parent and child one must honestly take time to look within and to evaluate their own parenting styles.

Are you parenting in a force of love or fear?

It is possible to operate in both love and fear but NOT at the same time.

Parents normally shift between love and fear based on the circumstances that are thrown their way.

When children do good things, the essence of a parent's being become flooded with love.

When children misbehave, a parent may engulf a spirit of fear that can result in raised voices, harsh words, and severe punishment in order to show the child the consequences of their poor behavior.

This is how many people have grown up for centuries.

We send out vibrations of love when things are going well and in turn spew out vibrations of fear, anger, and guilt when things are bad.

It's what we have been exposed to as the way to solve problems in the home and to make the child obey.

                                However, how do you feel when you are operating in fear?
                             
                                Find Out What Teenagers Are Saying by Clicking Here!

What emotions are you releasing on yourself, your children, and everyone in your path?

In heated situations, are you allowing love to guide your parenting or have your emotions shifted into fear?

                                  To Learn More Sign Up for A FREE Parenting Class

I want to breakdown 3 approaches to raising children.  Two of these approaches have been existing and in heavy practice since the beginning of time. But only one of these approaches keeps the parent and child in the force of love no matter the obstacle that the family may be dealing with.

                         Read the three types of parenting and determine which one are you?

1. Permissive Parenting- the children are allowed to unfold without the direction of their parents. It is assumed that the child will naturally make the right choices when ready. (i.e., Johnny, whenever you are ready to clean your room, I suppose you'll do it.  I'll just let you sit in a dirty room until you figure out you should clean it.)

2.  Authoritarian Parenting-  is the oldest and most widely-used approach. Parents take charge by using their power and authority to punish their children in order to teach them what to do. (i.e., Johnny, clean up this room now or there will be no television for a week! Do it NOW!)

3.  Breakthrough Parenting- the responsibility for solving problems is shared between parent and child. Parents teach by using discipline instead of punishment. Parents use influence instead of control. (i.e., Johnny, your room is a mess, what is your plan for cleaning this room? Tell me the best way for you to clean your room immediately?

When I first began studying Breakthrough Parenting, I couldn't say that I operated as a breakthrough parent. I was not raised by a breakthrough parent.  While I liked the shared responsibility between mother and child, I felt that "Clean your room now was just as effective." It wasn't until I began studying and talking to thousands of teens, young adults, and parents that I learned that there is always ways to improve on our parenting methods.

Children who feel that they are being controlled with anger, punishment, and loud outbursts eventually rebel and experience emotional consequences in their adult life.

While these methods may seem to work initially, the method is only temporary.

Oftentimes, when we instill fear in our children to get them to behave, it's equivalent to putting a band-aid on a festering sore.

We need to instill love in our children for long lasting results while teaching them how to become responsible members of society.

My goal for my own children and the 500 plus students I teach each year as a high school English and Theater Teacher is for every child to develop self-mastery.

Self-Mastery is the power to control one's actions, impulses, and emotions.

                                         Are you a self-mastered person?
                                Sign up for a FREE video class to lean more!

Breakthrough Parenting with love is a great way to learn self-mastery and to turn any parenting struggles into cooperation.

If anything you've read has sparked an interest, please feel free to email me at shiradillon@gmail.com
Email the word CLASS if you are interested in a FREE class to learn more about Breakthrough Parenting.

People spend countless number of dollars and time in education and training for their careers.

             How much time and training have you spent on the career of being a parent?

Join me for a free online video class about Breakthrough Parenting.

In it you will learn...

-Effective discipline in a way that promotes willing cooperation from your children
-How to communicate so that everyone listens and understands
-Resolve conflicts quickly and easily with win/win methods
- .......and much much more!

You can enroll in the online video class of Breakthrough Parenting w/ Shira by doing any of the following....

1. Email the word FREE to shiradillon@gmail.com
2. Follow Shira on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Mz.ShiraNicole
3. Join Parents, Teachers and Teens page on FB at https://www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersAndTeens?ref=hl

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to follow me on google+ or join my fan page at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens .

To become an even more involved parent in your child's life, and to better understand the teenagers of today purchase my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues by Clicking Here! Or by checking the book our on amazon. Order a hardcopy or download an e-book for your kindle today! Order Now!

3 Things You Must Do To Have An Effective Conversation LIFE CLASS Style!

"How Do I Be Transparent?" is one of the questions I hear the most as I teach parents how to better relate to their teenagers as a teacher and parenting consultant.  All of my parents are very open to the notion that in order to connect with their children they need to start a conversation.  They need to not only share how they feel about an issue but they must be willing to allow their child to share how they feel about the issue as well.  Once the child shares how they feel, the parent must be willing to accept what the child is saying as truth. So many times, the parent wants to influence the child's opinion that the child eventually stops sharing their true thoughts and feelings with their parent. (Which is why teens love talking to their friends.)  If a parent is going to use the strategy that Oprah is so effectively doing in her Life Class with the subject of fatherless sons where thousands of viewers were able to begin their own healing process because of the way Oprah and her panel discussed the issue, then you are not going to be able to only have a conversation with your child; you must be transparent and have a purpose for the conversation.

        For a free parenting session click here: Get Your Free Parenting Consultancy Session!

When I talk with teens, I am honest and I share with them at least one story from my past. This story from my past isn't some random story, but I choose the life experience that is most relevant to the situation at hand.  If there is no purpose to your transparency or if the story you select is random and not suited for the situation, you won't be able to get highly effective results.  There are three things that every transparent story should have in order to be a highly effective story that will bring you and your child closer together.

#1. SHOW VULNERABILITY! Teenagers need to see their parents vulnerable at times. It's a temporary moment where you are not the "I know it all parent." You are the parent that feel things emotionally just like your child. I have noticed that this serves as a problem for the mother and the father but in different ways. With the father, they are more likely not to show any vulnerability because of societal pressures to be "The Man." This destroys the intimacy and affection that the chid is looking for. With mothers, it is the exact opposite. Mothers sometimes show too much vulnerability that puts a child in a situation where they hold back on saying the honest things they want and need to say about the situation in hopes to make their mother feel better. It's too much emotion and the opportunity for meaningful conversation towards healing is lost.

#2. ADMIT A MISTAKE!  You do not have to be perfect. It's a lie. We are not perfect. Our children already know it, so we can admit mistakes that we make.  Even if its just a thought of worry, doubt, or admitting that you seriously messed up. Admitting to our children that we made a mistake releases the pressure off them and gives them an environment where they can be honest. No one wants to make a mistake. We all want to be perfect, but when a parent is able to say it's okay, and  here's a situation I was in and I didn't make the best choice, you will be surprise on what that can do for a child.  When sharing a story and being transparent, be certain to include some mistakes you've made either in thought or in deed.

#3. BE ON TOPIC! If we are honest with ourselves, we have a plethora of stories to choose from that we can share with our child, but when there is a problem and we are having a conversation to promote healing in the relationship, the story needs to be carefully selected and put together. The story that you share with your child needs to be directly related to the issue at hand. If the problem with your child has to do with a disconnection between the two of you, then share a time in your life where you disconnected from someone or thought about disconnecting.  If the problem with your child has to do with suspect of drug use, then share a time in your life where you or a close friend used drugs or thought about using drugs without ever asking or accusing them of using drugs.

Depending on the situation and history, your child may not come around during the first transparency session, but having the conversation will certainly plant a seed in solid ground that will begin the healing situation for you and your child.

I found a note yesterday from a student I taught last year.  Although there was no name on the note, I know who wrote the note because of the handwriting.  This young girl lives with her mother and has been homeless with her for a spell.  She writes often in her journal about their relationship and how difficult it is for them to get along. They both say hurtful things to one another and often times she is very disrespectful. Her mom doesn't know what to do with her and no matter what, they seem to get in an argument at least once a day.  The father hears what's going on and naturally wants custody of his daughter, and many people hearing this story would think it's the right thing. But my student wants to improve things with her mom. She wants to be with her mother.  It says so in the letter I found.

You can read a copy of my student's letter at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens and if you haven't liked the FB page be sure to like it and share it with your online friends.

I'm starting a new adventure my friends to help more and more young people have stronger relationships with their parents.  Stay tune to find out how you can be a part of the solution to this much needed issue that thousands of parents and children are facing in society today. There are so many adults with broken relationships with their parents now with the responsibility to have a healthy relationship with their own children. Broken people break people! Hurting people hurt people! I have taken the challenge to bring healing to this problem so that healed people may heal others. Want you join me? To find out how you can help email me at shiradillon@gmail.com and type the word HELP in the subject line.

To get more information on the type of stories to share with your child in order to have your own "Life Class" experience and better relate to your child, grab my new self-help book dedicated to teens and beneficial to adults. Inside you will be able to read numerous transparent stories that show vulnerability, admit mistakes, and are categorize by topic.  Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues takes you step by step through many true stories shared by me and the students I have worked with. It is a perfect example of Life Class in action with helpful tips to bring you towards the conversation you need to have in your own parental relationship.  Go to www.amazon.com/ShiraDillon and get your copy TODAY!

Be a Powerful Parent and Learn How to Make the Most of Your Child's Graduation!

What a wonderful time of the year when young people are graduating from one grade to another.  Friends are posting pictures of Kindergarten Graduations, 5^th grade graduations, 8^th grade graduations, 12^th grade graduations, and even college graduations. I can help but wonder what type of communication is being said at these graduations between parent and child.  I see the families show up dressed in their Sunday best, carrying balloons, flowers, and cards all while wearing a smile that can cheer up a blind man.  The energy in the air is that of joy, accomplishments, and honor, but how effective are the conversations?

Have you ever wondered what's the significance of a graduation ceremony? Has society reduced graduations into another commercial holiday where people spend a lot of money on unneeded gifts and use the occasion to eat a lot of food like we do most holidays? Or do graduations have a different intent and purpose for celebrating?

If you ever research the history of graduations, they were used in order to document a time period in a person’s life where they were exiting one stage and entering into another stage of their life.  Graduations are considered to be “a right of passage” in which all the graduates are gathered together to separate them from the rest of society, speak words over them in order to prepare and transform them for the next phase of their life, and then release them back into society as new people with a new status.  (Sounds a lot like a wedding ceremony doesn’t it?)

Graduations are a time in life where a person gets a chance to slow down form all the hustle and bustle of life and become equip with all the things needed in order to be a successful person at the new stage in their life.

I’m not sure if the traditions we are practicing in learning institutions all over the United States are preparing our graduates for the new stage in their life anymore, but that doesn’t mean as parents, mentors, and relatives of graduates that we don’t take this opportunity to speak words of wisdom, encouragement, and inspiration into the graduates that we know. 

Is your little one graduating from kindergarten?

Use this as an opportunity to help your child transition from a preschool format of learning to a school system that is curriculum and standards centered.  Let your little one know that graduating from kindergarten isn’t about a major accomplishment, but it is a celebration for the road ahead.  A time where your child will begin to develop their skills, talents, and begin to come into their life’s purpose.  Speak good words over your child and send them out into the world ready for the challenge ahead. 

Is your child graduating from Middle School?

Graduations that occur from Middle to High School should be used to open up the conversation between parent and child of all the things high school has to offer; both good and bad.  This is the time period in a child’s life where regardless of who they were before, they are moving on to another phase and so many parents makes the mistake of not having the talk that they need to have with their child now, because they want to wait to see if any of the high school teenage issues will effect their child.  Many parents take a chance and as a result they either remain quiet, or have an ineffective talk with their teenager. As a high school teacher for fifteen years, I am here to tell you that you can’t afford to wait around and not have an effective conversation with your teenager. It doesn’t matter how great your child’s grades are, or no matter how many times they say “Yes Ma’am” all children become exposed to teenager issues and the possibilities of sex, drugs, bullying, peer pressure, depression, etc.  These are the issues that are awaiting your child in high school. A graduation speech from a person selected by the school site council along is not enough to prepare your child for this next stage.  An effective verbal conversation that you have with your child will make a significance difference in the quality of life your child has.

Powerful parents have powerful and effective conversations with their children.  They learn how to say the right words, the right way, and at the right time so their words will not return void but will make a lasting impression on their child. Learn how to talk effectively to your child and be a powerful parent by Clicking Here!

Is your teenager graduating from High School?

Last night, I attended a graduation banquet for my students who are seniors, and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the thought that they are all moving on the next phase of their life. There will be no parent to wake them up for school, no one to remind them to do their homework, and n controlled environment of a high school.  These students that are about to enter a new stage of their life called adulthood.  For the first time in their life, these young people will be grown and there are all types of things that are waiting for them at college.  College holds the opportunity for a chance to learn and grow as well as a chance to become distracted and create permanent outcomes that are not apart of the plan to of being on course.

A Charge to Take Action!

After the ceremony, the gifts, pictures, and the “breaking of bread”, I would like to encourage every parent, mentor, and family member of a young graduate to learn how to have an effective conversation with your child. Communication is the biggest cause of misunderstanding and the dissolution of relationships.  People are doing a whole lot of communication, but don’t know how to do it effectively.  That’s where I come in. Allow me to help you effectively communicate.Do not leave this important task  up to the commencement speaker, but make sure you speak your own keynote address as into a child’s life as well!

Get the new book that is uniting parents and teens everywhere. Read true stories about real teen issues the proper way for adults to deal with them. Don't end up with your foot in your mouth. Become a powerful parent by learning how to talk to your child and heal their issues today. Click on the link http://www.amazon.com to place your order and take advantage of the June Graduation Sale Now!

Address your child’s dreams.

Address your child’s fears.

Address all the things that lay ahead waiting for them.

-Shira Dillon

Shira Dillon has a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences of being a teen, and her 15 years of experience in the public school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the new release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, workshops, and speaking engagements.  To learn more about Shira Dillon or for booking information go to www.shiradillon.blogspot.com