Is Your Child Apart Of The Victim Syndrome?

Imagine these possible scenarios!

Your son’s teacher calls and informs you that your child threw a pencil at Sandy in class. When you ask your child about the incident, your child tells you that Sandy through the pencil at him.

You walk into your living room and catch your daughter tossing a ball only to notice that one of your house plants have been knocked over. An array of dirt is scattered heavily on the floor. When you ask your child about the incident, she insists that it was the ball and not her that knocked over your beloved Yucca house plant.

Do any of these stories sound familiar?

Much like the game of dodge ball, over and over again children duck and dodge taking responsibility for their own behavior. They will find some way to shift the blame and place themselves as the victim in the situation. Some children are so good at it that you may find yourself agreeing with the child. I know parents who have been convinced that it was the ball and not their child that knocked over the plant.

Children who fail to take responsibility for their actions become adults who fail to take responsibility for their actions. 

So how do you take this common situation and treat it before it becomes a pathological condition that remains with the child well into adulthood?

Click here for information on how to teach your child to take responsibility for their actions.

The Victim Syndrome is a pathological condition where people repeatedly blame others for mistreatment when the source of their problems lies within themselves.

The 3 Parts to the Victim Syndrome.

1. Victim- The victim continuously makes flawed judgments and is continuously unwilling to take responsibility. It’s the “Say it wasn’t You!” Complex. It’s All the other person’s fault.

2. Rescuer- These are the people that the victims go after to be rescued. In many two parenting households, victims often choose one of the parents to be the rescuer. The rescuer is the person the victim runs to in order to feel better.

3. Persecutor- The persecutor is the person the victim says is responsible for whatever it is that has happened to them. What’s interesting is that the rescuer oftentimes becomes the persecutor.  As soon as the rescuer wises up and recognizes the victim is failing to take responsibility, the victim now has a new person to shift the blame. Thus, the rescuer is now one of the victims many persecutors.

What’s amazing about the Victim Syndrome is that we see this over and over again in our adult relationships. I feel compelled to write another blog on this same topic showing how children who grow up as victims become adults that ruin many aspects of their lives because they fail to take responsibility.

Here's a list of just a few of the problems that a child who does not get the victim syndrome handled experience as an adult.

-Job Instability

-Failed Relationships

-Financial Irresponsibility

-Academic Failure

-Lack of Friends

 The list can go on and on.  In my FREE Webinar, I will be teaching you how to recognize the victim syndrome in your child and how to distinguish this characteristic before it festers into a full blown pathological condition that can cause all types of problems throughout your child's life.

I bet we all know some adults that love to play the victim. The tips and information in my Free Webinar will be beneficial for adults too. The victim syndrome dates back to Genesis. It dates back to Adam and Eve when Adam blamed Eve for the consumption of the forbidden fruit. Eve then blamed the serpent.  If you think that playing the victim syndrome won’t lead to bigger problems, think again.

I’m excited that we can treat this condition and not just put a band-aid on it.  Parents are key to being a home remedy for this behavior so it will not spread as the child gets older.

To get access to the webinar click on the link http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR You do not have to watch this webinar live in real time. Feel free to listen to it in your spare time at your leisure. http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

LOVE OR FEAR: WHAT GUIDES YOUR PARENTING?

It has been said that there are only two motivating forces in life.

These forces are Love and Fear. 

When we operate in love we are operating at our best self.

When we parent in love we are parenting at our best self.

In order for an adult to improve the situations in the home between parent and child one must honestly take time to look within and to evaluate their own parenting styles.

Are you parenting in a force of love or fear?

It is possible to operate in both love and fear but NOT at the same time.

Parents normally shift between love and fear based on the circumstances that are thrown their way.

When children do good things, the essence of a parent's being become flooded with love.

When children misbehave, a parent may engulf a spirit of fear that can result in raised voices, harsh words, and severe punishment in order to show the child the consequences of their poor behavior.

This is how many people have grown up for centuries.

We send out vibrations of love when things are going well and in turn spew out vibrations of fear, anger, and guilt when things are bad.

It's what we have been exposed to as the way to solve problems in the home and to make the child obey.

                                However, how do you feel when you are operating in fear?
                             
                                Find Out What Teenagers Are Saying by Clicking Here!

What emotions are you releasing on yourself, your children, and everyone in your path?

In heated situations, are you allowing love to guide your parenting or have your emotions shifted into fear?

                                  To Learn More Sign Up for A FREE Parenting Class

I want to breakdown 3 approaches to raising children.  Two of these approaches have been existing and in heavy practice since the beginning of time. But only one of these approaches keeps the parent and child in the force of love no matter the obstacle that the family may be dealing with.

                         Read the three types of parenting and determine which one are you?

1. Permissive Parenting- the children are allowed to unfold without the direction of their parents. It is assumed that the child will naturally make the right choices when ready. (i.e., Johnny, whenever you are ready to clean your room, I suppose you'll do it.  I'll just let you sit in a dirty room until you figure out you should clean it.)

2.  Authoritarian Parenting-  is the oldest and most widely-used approach. Parents take charge by using their power and authority to punish their children in order to teach them what to do. (i.e., Johnny, clean up this room now or there will be no television for a week! Do it NOW!)

3.  Breakthrough Parenting- the responsibility for solving problems is shared between parent and child. Parents teach by using discipline instead of punishment. Parents use influence instead of control. (i.e., Johnny, your room is a mess, what is your plan for cleaning this room? Tell me the best way for you to clean your room immediately?

When I first began studying Breakthrough Parenting, I couldn't say that I operated as a breakthrough parent. I was not raised by a breakthrough parent.  While I liked the shared responsibility between mother and child, I felt that "Clean your room now was just as effective." It wasn't until I began studying and talking to thousands of teens, young adults, and parents that I learned that there is always ways to improve on our parenting methods.

Children who feel that they are being controlled with anger, punishment, and loud outbursts eventually rebel and experience emotional consequences in their adult life.

While these methods may seem to work initially, the method is only temporary.

Oftentimes, when we instill fear in our children to get them to behave, it's equivalent to putting a band-aid on a festering sore.

We need to instill love in our children for long lasting results while teaching them how to become responsible members of society.

My goal for my own children and the 500 plus students I teach each year as a high school English and Theater Teacher is for every child to develop self-mastery.

Self-Mastery is the power to control one's actions, impulses, and emotions.

                                         Are you a self-mastered person?
                                Sign up for a FREE video class to lean more!

Breakthrough Parenting with love is a great way to learn self-mastery and to turn any parenting struggles into cooperation.

If anything you've read has sparked an interest, please feel free to email me at shiradillon@gmail.com
Email the word CLASS if you are interested in a FREE class to learn more about Breakthrough Parenting.

People spend countless number of dollars and time in education and training for their careers.

             How much time and training have you spent on the career of being a parent?

Join me for a free online video class about Breakthrough Parenting.

In it you will learn...

-Effective discipline in a way that promotes willing cooperation from your children
-How to communicate so that everyone listens and understands
-Resolve conflicts quickly and easily with win/win methods
- .......and much much more!

You can enroll in the online video class of Breakthrough Parenting w/ Shira by doing any of the following....

1. Email the word FREE to shiradillon@gmail.com
2. Follow Shira on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Mz.ShiraNicole
3. Join Parents, Teachers and Teens page on FB at https://www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersAndTeens?ref=hl

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to follow me on google+ or join my fan page at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens .

To become an even more involved parent in your child's life, and to better understand the teenagers of today purchase my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues by Clicking Here! Or by checking the book our on amazon. Order a hardcopy or download an e-book for your kindle today! Order Now!