Is your child's school prepared for an Arapahoe HS, Sandy Hook, Columbine situation? Check out These Tips to Get Prepared!!!

One of the trainings this year for me and my fellow teachers before the start of the school year was an active shooter training led by the Los Angeles School Police.  In awake of Sandy Hook and several other school shootings, the police department made it a priority to educate teachers and other school personnel on what to do in such a dangerous situation.  If you are a parent like I am, you want to be able to rest assure that your child is safe while at school and away from your presence throughout the day.  While there is no way to guarantee safety, there are ways to make sure your child's school is prepared in case an active shooter is on campus.

1. Figure Out What’s Going On. Build Your Awareness.- 

The more a person knows about what’s going on, the better decisions the person will make.  Knowing the location of the active shooter is key in helping the child's school make a sound decision on what action to take next.

2. Find A Way To Survive.- Studies have shown that people who survived a life-threatening situation all had survival as their focus.  Instead of fearing being hurt, or thinking that you don’t want to die, change your thoughts into the positive and focus on Surviving. 

3. Be Well Trained For Emergencies.- Having occasional drills for the staff to know what to do in an active shooter situation, as strange as that may sound to a more "seasoned" population,  can help better impact everyone. Knowing where the exit and emergency doors are key?

4    4. Don’t Forget That You Can Leave The School.- In times pass, teachers were told that they must stay on campus at all times and cannot take kids off campus without parent permission. It was noted that teachers sometimes try to hide and protect their students in the classroom  in active shooter type situations and become“sitting ducks”. Now the police officers are spreading awareness that if one can, teachers may take the students off campus to a safe location.  Don’t wait for the active shooter to   “accidently” come across you. Leave.

5   5. If all fails, you may have to Fight Back. If you find yourself in the room with an active shooter, don’t be afraid to collectively Fight Back. Yes, I was surprise about this statement too, but police officers say that the victims almost always in a school setting out-number the shooter.  If the shooter is an “Active” shooter the officers advised coming together to throw books, charge the gunman, spread out, do whatever one need. In a case where it is inedible that someone is going to get hurt, fighting back  can possibly decreased the number of injuries.  (i.e. Think about the passengers on the flight to Pennsylvania during 911 when they collectively took down the terrorist.)

All and all, there is no way to guarantee safety if there is an active shooter at your child’s school. I know that everyday I teach my son to be a beacon of love as I hope that he will keep love surrounding him. Perfect love casts out fear.  However, since this isn’t a perfect world, and we cannot ever be completely safe, it is helpful to know what teachers, (like myself) are being taught to protect children. I teach in a high school in South Central, Los Angeles and I know if the day ever comes where there is an active shooter, I pray that my inner-spirit guides me to keep every single child safe. Ultimately, “When in doubt, trust your gut.”  Allow your gut, that infinite intelligence part of you to guide and protect you, your love ones, and your community in a state of emergency.

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher and author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  A non-fiction book geared toward teenagers, teachers and parents about the honest reality of social issues that teenagers face and how to survive them. Order a book for yourself at amazon.com or purchase some for a gift.  

Click to order Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues

Get Some Boundaries and Have Them Respected!!!

In Steve Harvey's book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, he tells his readers that it is crucial for women to set up boundaries/standards of what women will and will NOT take and to make that known to the pursuer in a dating relationship.

I agree that it is important for both parties in a romantic relationship to establish boundaries, but this  should not stop with a romantic relationship.

                                 We need boundaries in parent-child relationships!!!

              Sign up now for a FREE class that will teach you how to set boundaries!

-Boundaries are needed in a host of different relationships. Especially when the members of the relationship live in the same household such as parent-child relationships.

-Both the boundaries of the parent as well as the child (after a certain age) should be agreed upon and honored.

-Boundaries mark when a person feels comfortable or uncomfortable, safe or unsafe, loved or unloved.

-Relationships fail, even parent-child relationships, when boundaries are not honored.

If you have a child that is not respecting boundaries, then there are three things that must be in place to begin helping that child to honor the boundaries established for the household.

 1.  Parents show your children what it means to recognize and respect other's boundaries through your own personal example.  

Today's generation are not accepting the "do as I say, not as I do" cliche of the past.

2. Parents insist that your boundaries are respected as well. 

Do not fall in a permissive state and allow your children to disrespect the boundaries.

3. Be honest and admit your mistakes.  It takes a healthy self-esteem to admit you have violated another's boundaries and to apologize.

While Steve Harvey encourages his female readers to establish boundaries at the beginning of the relationship and to use these boundaries in determining when to exit the relationship, a parent-child relationship is one that we should never terminate.

If there are little to no boundaries in your household then GET SOME.

If the boundaries are not being respected then GET HELP.

Parenting Coaches and Consultants can easily help a family get back on tract by supporting the parent and helping the parent fix some of the normal issues that come with raising children.

It makes sense to get help from someone who is well studied and experienced in these matters with a proven track record.

I am a parenting coach and consultant and can help you set some boundaries in your household.

If you ready to move your family from struggle to cooperation then feel free to contact me for support i at shiradillon@gmail.com

There's a great Breakthrough out there for your family.

You just have to be willing to go get it.

Thank You for Reading!

Shira Dillon is a Certified Master Breakthrough Parenting Instructor and Consultant. Shira is a proud mother of her six year old son. She has counselled children and parents for over fifteen years as a school teacher with both the Los Angeles Unified School District as well as the Gary Community School Corp and is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  To remain in touch with Shira and to learn about her free upcoming parenting class and book giveaway email her at shiradillon@gmail.com and like her FB page ParentsTeachersandTeens for free parenting tips.  

LOVE OR FEAR: WHAT GUIDES YOUR PARENTING?

It has been said that there are only two motivating forces in life.

These forces are Love and Fear. 

When we operate in love we are operating at our best self.

When we parent in love we are parenting at our best self.

In order for an adult to improve the situations in the home between parent and child one must honestly take time to look within and to evaluate their own parenting styles.

Are you parenting in a force of love or fear?

It is possible to operate in both love and fear but NOT at the same time.

Parents normally shift between love and fear based on the circumstances that are thrown their way.

When children do good things, the essence of a parent's being become flooded with love.

When children misbehave, a parent may engulf a spirit of fear that can result in raised voices, harsh words, and severe punishment in order to show the child the consequences of their poor behavior.

This is how many people have grown up for centuries.

We send out vibrations of love when things are going well and in turn spew out vibrations of fear, anger, and guilt when things are bad.

It's what we have been exposed to as the way to solve problems in the home and to make the child obey.

                                However, how do you feel when you are operating in fear?
                             
                                Find Out What Teenagers Are Saying by Clicking Here!

What emotions are you releasing on yourself, your children, and everyone in your path?

In heated situations, are you allowing love to guide your parenting or have your emotions shifted into fear?

                                  To Learn More Sign Up for A FREE Parenting Class

I want to breakdown 3 approaches to raising children.  Two of these approaches have been existing and in heavy practice since the beginning of time. But only one of these approaches keeps the parent and child in the force of love no matter the obstacle that the family may be dealing with.

                         Read the three types of parenting and determine which one are you?

1. Permissive Parenting- the children are allowed to unfold without the direction of their parents. It is assumed that the child will naturally make the right choices when ready. (i.e., Johnny, whenever you are ready to clean your room, I suppose you'll do it.  I'll just let you sit in a dirty room until you figure out you should clean it.)

2.  Authoritarian Parenting-  is the oldest and most widely-used approach. Parents take charge by using their power and authority to punish their children in order to teach them what to do. (i.e., Johnny, clean up this room now or there will be no television for a week! Do it NOW!)

3.  Breakthrough Parenting- the responsibility for solving problems is shared between parent and child. Parents teach by using discipline instead of punishment. Parents use influence instead of control. (i.e., Johnny, your room is a mess, what is your plan for cleaning this room? Tell me the best way for you to clean your room immediately?

When I first began studying Breakthrough Parenting, I couldn't say that I operated as a breakthrough parent. I was not raised by a breakthrough parent.  While I liked the shared responsibility between mother and child, I felt that "Clean your room now was just as effective." It wasn't until I began studying and talking to thousands of teens, young adults, and parents that I learned that there is always ways to improve on our parenting methods.

Children who feel that they are being controlled with anger, punishment, and loud outbursts eventually rebel and experience emotional consequences in their adult life.

While these methods may seem to work initially, the method is only temporary.

Oftentimes, when we instill fear in our children to get them to behave, it's equivalent to putting a band-aid on a festering sore.

We need to instill love in our children for long lasting results while teaching them how to become responsible members of society.

My goal for my own children and the 500 plus students I teach each year as a high school English and Theater Teacher is for every child to develop self-mastery.

Self-Mastery is the power to control one's actions, impulses, and emotions.

                                         Are you a self-mastered person?
                                Sign up for a FREE video class to lean more!

Breakthrough Parenting with love is a great way to learn self-mastery and to turn any parenting struggles into cooperation.

If anything you've read has sparked an interest, please feel free to email me at shiradillon@gmail.com
Email the word CLASS if you are interested in a FREE class to learn more about Breakthrough Parenting.

People spend countless number of dollars and time in education and training for their careers.

             How much time and training have you spent on the career of being a parent?

Join me for a free online video class about Breakthrough Parenting.

In it you will learn...

-Effective discipline in a way that promotes willing cooperation from your children
-How to communicate so that everyone listens and understands
-Resolve conflicts quickly and easily with win/win methods
- .......and much much more!

You can enroll in the online video class of Breakthrough Parenting w/ Shira by doing any of the following....

1. Email the word FREE to shiradillon@gmail.com
2. Follow Shira on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Mz.ShiraNicole
3. Join Parents, Teachers and Teens page on FB at https://www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersAndTeens?ref=hl

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to follow me on google+ or join my fan page at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens .

To become an even more involved parent in your child's life, and to better understand the teenagers of today purchase my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues by Clicking Here! Or by checking the book our on amazon. Order a hardcopy or download an e-book for your kindle today! Order Now!

After the Not-Guilty Verdict...Will Things Change or Will There Be More of the Same?

I have received several inboxes asking me my opinion concerning the verdict in the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman Case. While I have my opinions, my mind is on a form of action.  What are we doing to be the CHANGE we want to see in this world? Actions truly speak louder than words, so while the news is fresh, I will read statuses of disappointment and awareness.  And as I search for a silver lining in this dark cloud I can honestly say I have learned beneficial things about African-American history; the names of young people who had been murdered and forgotten about before Trayvon Martin.  But as the weeks past, I urged people to take (constructive) action. Be a part of a solution! Life is not just about our small circle of friends. We must use our lives to benefit us all because injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

I challenge all Americans that are disappointed (once again) in our judicial system, to NOT lay themselves on the mercy of the court. There is one thing that we have that no one can take away from us as long as we are breathing and that is our mind, which must be strengthen by an education.  We can do powerful things with our mind if we use it to focus on the right things. 

Here are a few things that we can begin doing right now to be the CHANGE we want to see in the world. I have formulated this in the acrynoymn C.H.A.N.G.E. to make this easier for you to remember. Just 3 of these things will begin to make a great improvement in your life and in the lives of those you encounter.

C- Compliment. Find something every day that you can compliment. A person, an action, or a nice breeze on the summer day is a great start. The more we find things to compliment the less we will complain. I want to take the time to compliment the courage and incredible strength that Trayvon Martin’s family and friends found to not only testify but to sit through the trial re-living and re-hearing the awful events that led to the shooting of a young, un-armed, college-bound African American boy.  I also want to compliment each person who experienced so much anger to the point that they wanted to riot or cause damage due to their frustration over the verdict but chose not to do so.  Stereotypes about a race are NOT facts, but sometimes they may appear to be true by the actions of a few. I compliment each person who has chosen the high road in spite of the lowness of the legal system in Florida.

H- Happiness. Find something to be happy about.  While I am not happy about this verdict, I am happy that Trayvon’s name will live on, and that his unfortunate death raised an awareness in this country that can result in a resolution for African-Americans that are well overdue.  I am happy that no ill deed goes unpunished.  I am happy for the peaceful demonstrations that have gotten nationwide attention, the extra love and prayers that the Martin family have received, and for the foundation that is being formed in Trayvon’s name.  I am happy that I have received more people emailing me that they want to help me work with youth and their parents.  There is always something to be happy about if we look for it. Judicial systems of this country may fail, but I am happy that God never fails.

A-Action. Do something! There’s an old Chinese Proverb that says “Talk doesn’t cook rice.”  I would like to add to it, neither does FB likes.  While having an educated conversation about the issue can do some good, it is most effective when it is followed up by a plan of action. Take action to get involved in your community.  Do something that will benefit the greater good.  Sometimes we get so caught up on our own ambitions “grinding” and trying to outdo others, that all our hard work is in vain.  Do we want to be hamsters running on a platinum and diamond studded hamster wheel going nowhere, or do we want to be on the right path in order to leave a mark in this earth that will benefit us all?

N- No Negativity. Perhaps this is a double negative in itself but this NEEDS to be said.  We are energy. We are all the same energy. No one but you has control over your energy and how you use it. While I like to laugh and joke like the next person, in serious situations I see so much energy wasted laughing, joking and saying negative things about people.  There was no need for so much time, attention, and energy to be spent on making fun of witnesses testifying on Trayvon Martin’s behalf when that same time, attention, and effort could have been spent on praying for the witnesses, the Martin Family, and the outcome of the case. Let's not operate in negativity while trying to attract something positive. This may not be a popular statement but what is popular is not always right.

G- Gratitude. I tell you right now that being grateful brings more things for you to be grateful about. And if you are being grateful you won’t be operating in negativity.  I have read FB statuses of friends who cannot sleep because of the trial and who are fearing for the lives of their own family with a verdict that makes many to believe that a black person’s life is of no value in America.  I understand those feelings. I feel the same way. However, after we mourn this tragic outcome, lets make sure that to ensure change for our people that we focus on gratitude.  Your life is the result of your most dominant thoughts. If all we think about is injustice and how wrong everything is for our people in this world, the more wrong we will get.  We all have something to be thankful for. There are things wrong with America, but I will concentrate on all the things I am grateful for while living in this country. Being in a positive state gives me the power to be a leader, and to go out into my community to help young people and their parents. If I have a defeated, victim mentality, I won’t be able to Change anything. 

E- Expectation. When the verdict was read and released all over the media Saturday evening, I looked to my FB wall for reactions, and I did not see one person who said that they were truly shocked. As I watched the news Saturday night, every person on the discussion panel admitted that they were not surprise, and to be honest I was not in disbelief myself. So why didn’t the majority of America expect a non-guilty verdict? What could we have done differently as a people that could have increased our expectations.  In life, to correctly create change in the world, we must EXPECT it.  It is time to raise our expectations, increase our actions, and become empowered so our voice is not just a voice. We want to become a collective movement in society to get things done and CHANGED!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for taking the time to read the words form my heart and I urge you all to get involved in some way, shape, or form, to be the change you want to see in this world. If you would like to help me, Shira Dillon, a high school teacher for over 15 years, author, speaker, and parenting consultant with my latest community project to help young people and their parents all you need to do is email me the words HELP in the subject line at shiradillon@gmail.com and I will keep you informed on how you can help create CHANGE in the world.  

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher in Los Angeles, CA. For over 15 years, Shira has worked with young people and their parents in order to build healthy relationships and help them make productive decisions for their life. Shira Dillon is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenager Issues, an insightful book to help young people reach their highest potential in society while helping adults relate to youth better. This book in now only $4.99 on Amazon Kindle. http://tinyurl.com/ogzkj4b

Ms. Dillon is also the founder of Parents, Teachers, and Teens which is a FB page to help strengthen the relationship between adults and young people. With the outpouring of senseless murders of misinformed adults thinking that an unarmed young person in a threat, now more than ever are parents, teachers, and teens needed to help mend the gap between adults and youth. Help me help others by going to www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens. If you have already liked parents, teachers, and teens and want to help more, simply share this blog and you will be one step closer to being the CHANGE you wish to see in the world! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!