Is your child's school prepared for an Arapahoe HS, Sandy Hook, Columbine situation? Check out These Tips to Get Prepared!!!

One of the trainings this year for me and my fellow teachers before the start of the school year was an active shooter training led by the Los Angeles School Police.  In awake of Sandy Hook and several other school shootings, the police department made it a priority to educate teachers and other school personnel on what to do in such a dangerous situation.  If you are a parent like I am, you want to be able to rest assure that your child is safe while at school and away from your presence throughout the day.  While there is no way to guarantee safety, there are ways to make sure your child's school is prepared in case an active shooter is on campus.

1. Figure Out What’s Going On. Build Your Awareness.- 

The more a person knows about what’s going on, the better decisions the person will make.  Knowing the location of the active shooter is key in helping the child's school make a sound decision on what action to take next.

2. Find A Way To Survive.- Studies have shown that people who survived a life-threatening situation all had survival as their focus.  Instead of fearing being hurt, or thinking that you don’t want to die, change your thoughts into the positive and focus on Surviving. 

3. Be Well Trained For Emergencies.- Having occasional drills for the staff to know what to do in an active shooter situation, as strange as that may sound to a more "seasoned" population,  can help better impact everyone. Knowing where the exit and emergency doors are key?

4    4. Don’t Forget That You Can Leave The School.- In times pass, teachers were told that they must stay on campus at all times and cannot take kids off campus without parent permission. It was noted that teachers sometimes try to hide and protect their students in the classroom  in active shooter type situations and become“sitting ducks”. Now the police officers are spreading awareness that if one can, teachers may take the students off campus to a safe location.  Don’t wait for the active shooter to   “accidently” come across you. Leave.

5   5. If all fails, you may have to Fight Back. If you find yourself in the room with an active shooter, don’t be afraid to collectively Fight Back. Yes, I was surprise about this statement too, but police officers say that the victims almost always in a school setting out-number the shooter.  If the shooter is an “Active” shooter the officers advised coming together to throw books, charge the gunman, spread out, do whatever one need. In a case where it is inedible that someone is going to get hurt, fighting back  can possibly decreased the number of injuries.  (i.e. Think about the passengers on the flight to Pennsylvania during 911 when they collectively took down the terrorist.)

All and all, there is no way to guarantee safety if there is an active shooter at your child’s school. I know that everyday I teach my son to be a beacon of love as I hope that he will keep love surrounding him. Perfect love casts out fear.  However, since this isn’t a perfect world, and we cannot ever be completely safe, it is helpful to know what teachers, (like myself) are being taught to protect children. I teach in a high school in South Central, Los Angeles and I know if the day ever comes where there is an active shooter, I pray that my inner-spirit guides me to keep every single child safe. Ultimately, “When in doubt, trust your gut.”  Allow your gut, that infinite intelligence part of you to guide and protect you, your love ones, and your community in a state of emergency.

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher and author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  A non-fiction book geared toward teenagers, teachers and parents about the honest reality of social issues that teenagers face and how to survive them. Order a book for yourself at amazon.com or purchase some for a gift.  

Click to order Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues

3 Things You Must Do To Have An Effective Conversation LIFE CLASS Style!

"How Do I Be Transparent?" is one of the questions I hear the most as I teach parents how to better relate to their teenagers as a teacher and parenting consultant.  All of my parents are very open to the notion that in order to connect with their children they need to start a conversation.  They need to not only share how they feel about an issue but they must be willing to allow their child to share how they feel about the issue as well.  Once the child shares how they feel, the parent must be willing to accept what the child is saying as truth. So many times, the parent wants to influence the child's opinion that the child eventually stops sharing their true thoughts and feelings with their parent. (Which is why teens love talking to their friends.)  If a parent is going to use the strategy that Oprah is so effectively doing in her Life Class with the subject of fatherless sons where thousands of viewers were able to begin their own healing process because of the way Oprah and her panel discussed the issue, then you are not going to be able to only have a conversation with your child; you must be transparent and have a purpose for the conversation.

        For a free parenting session click here: Get Your Free Parenting Consultancy Session!

When I talk with teens, I am honest and I share with them at least one story from my past. This story from my past isn't some random story, but I choose the life experience that is most relevant to the situation at hand.  If there is no purpose to your transparency or if the story you select is random and not suited for the situation, you won't be able to get highly effective results.  There are three things that every transparent story should have in order to be a highly effective story that will bring you and your child closer together.

#1. SHOW VULNERABILITY! Teenagers need to see their parents vulnerable at times. It's a temporary moment where you are not the "I know it all parent." You are the parent that feel things emotionally just like your child. I have noticed that this serves as a problem for the mother and the father but in different ways. With the father, they are more likely not to show any vulnerability because of societal pressures to be "The Man." This destroys the intimacy and affection that the chid is looking for. With mothers, it is the exact opposite. Mothers sometimes show too much vulnerability that puts a child in a situation where they hold back on saying the honest things they want and need to say about the situation in hopes to make their mother feel better. It's too much emotion and the opportunity for meaningful conversation towards healing is lost.

#2. ADMIT A MISTAKE!  You do not have to be perfect. It's a lie. We are not perfect. Our children already know it, so we can admit mistakes that we make.  Even if its just a thought of worry, doubt, or admitting that you seriously messed up. Admitting to our children that we made a mistake releases the pressure off them and gives them an environment where they can be honest. No one wants to make a mistake. We all want to be perfect, but when a parent is able to say it's okay, and  here's a situation I was in and I didn't make the best choice, you will be surprise on what that can do for a child.  When sharing a story and being transparent, be certain to include some mistakes you've made either in thought or in deed.

#3. BE ON TOPIC! If we are honest with ourselves, we have a plethora of stories to choose from that we can share with our child, but when there is a problem and we are having a conversation to promote healing in the relationship, the story needs to be carefully selected and put together. The story that you share with your child needs to be directly related to the issue at hand. If the problem with your child has to do with a disconnection between the two of you, then share a time in your life where you disconnected from someone or thought about disconnecting.  If the problem with your child has to do with suspect of drug use, then share a time in your life where you or a close friend used drugs or thought about using drugs without ever asking or accusing them of using drugs.

Depending on the situation and history, your child may not come around during the first transparency session, but having the conversation will certainly plant a seed in solid ground that will begin the healing situation for you and your child.

I found a note yesterday from a student I taught last year.  Although there was no name on the note, I know who wrote the note because of the handwriting.  This young girl lives with her mother and has been homeless with her for a spell.  She writes often in her journal about their relationship and how difficult it is for them to get along. They both say hurtful things to one another and often times she is very disrespectful. Her mom doesn't know what to do with her and no matter what, they seem to get in an argument at least once a day.  The father hears what's going on and naturally wants custody of his daughter, and many people hearing this story would think it's the right thing. But my student wants to improve things with her mom. She wants to be with her mother.  It says so in the letter I found.

You can read a copy of my student's letter at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens and if you haven't liked the FB page be sure to like it and share it with your online friends.

I'm starting a new adventure my friends to help more and more young people have stronger relationships with their parents.  Stay tune to find out how you can be a part of the solution to this much needed issue that thousands of parents and children are facing in society today. There are so many adults with broken relationships with their parents now with the responsibility to have a healthy relationship with their own children. Broken people break people! Hurting people hurt people! I have taken the challenge to bring healing to this problem so that healed people may heal others. Want you join me? To find out how you can help email me at shiradillon@gmail.com and type the word HELP in the subject line.

To get more information on the type of stories to share with your child in order to have your own "Life Class" experience and better relate to your child, grab my new self-help book dedicated to teens and beneficial to adults. Inside you will be able to read numerous transparent stories that show vulnerability, admit mistakes, and are categorize by topic.  Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues takes you step by step through many true stories shared by me and the students I have worked with. It is a perfect example of Life Class in action with helpful tips to bring you towards the conversation you need to have in your own parental relationship.  Go to www.amazon.com/ShiraDillon and get your copy TODAY!