Be a Powerful Parent and Learn How to Make the Most of Your Child's Graduation!

What a wonderful time of the year when young people are graduating from one grade to another.  Friends are posting pictures of Kindergarten Graduations, 5^th grade graduations, 8^th grade graduations, 12^th grade graduations, and even college graduations. I can help but wonder what type of communication is being said at these graduations between parent and child.  I see the families show up dressed in their Sunday best, carrying balloons, flowers, and cards all while wearing a smile that can cheer up a blind man.  The energy in the air is that of joy, accomplishments, and honor, but how effective are the conversations?

Have you ever wondered what's the significance of a graduation ceremony? Has society reduced graduations into another commercial holiday where people spend a lot of money on unneeded gifts and use the occasion to eat a lot of food like we do most holidays? Or do graduations have a different intent and purpose for celebrating?

If you ever research the history of graduations, they were used in order to document a time period in a person’s life where they were exiting one stage and entering into another stage of their life.  Graduations are considered to be “a right of passage” in which all the graduates are gathered together to separate them from the rest of society, speak words over them in order to prepare and transform them for the next phase of their life, and then release them back into society as new people with a new status.  (Sounds a lot like a wedding ceremony doesn’t it?)

Graduations are a time in life where a person gets a chance to slow down form all the hustle and bustle of life and become equip with all the things needed in order to be a successful person at the new stage in their life.

I’m not sure if the traditions we are practicing in learning institutions all over the United States are preparing our graduates for the new stage in their life anymore, but that doesn’t mean as parents, mentors, and relatives of graduates that we don’t take this opportunity to speak words of wisdom, encouragement, and inspiration into the graduates that we know. 

Is your little one graduating from kindergarten?

Use this as an opportunity to help your child transition from a preschool format of learning to a school system that is curriculum and standards centered.  Let your little one know that graduating from kindergarten isn’t about a major accomplishment, but it is a celebration for the road ahead.  A time where your child will begin to develop their skills, talents, and begin to come into their life’s purpose.  Speak good words over your child and send them out into the world ready for the challenge ahead. 

Is your child graduating from Middle School?

Graduations that occur from Middle to High School should be used to open up the conversation between parent and child of all the things high school has to offer; both good and bad.  This is the time period in a child’s life where regardless of who they were before, they are moving on to another phase and so many parents makes the mistake of not having the talk that they need to have with their child now, because they want to wait to see if any of the high school teenage issues will effect their child.  Many parents take a chance and as a result they either remain quiet, or have an ineffective talk with their teenager. As a high school teacher for fifteen years, I am here to tell you that you can’t afford to wait around and not have an effective conversation with your teenager. It doesn’t matter how great your child’s grades are, or no matter how many times they say “Yes Ma’am” all children become exposed to teenager issues and the possibilities of sex, drugs, bullying, peer pressure, depression, etc.  These are the issues that are awaiting your child in high school. A graduation speech from a person selected by the school site council along is not enough to prepare your child for this next stage.  An effective verbal conversation that you have with your child will make a significance difference in the quality of life your child has.

Powerful parents have powerful and effective conversations with their children.  They learn how to say the right words, the right way, and at the right time so their words will not return void but will make a lasting impression on their child. Learn how to talk effectively to your child and be a powerful parent by Clicking Here!

Is your teenager graduating from High School?

Last night, I attended a graduation banquet for my students who are seniors, and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the thought that they are all moving on the next phase of their life. There will be no parent to wake them up for school, no one to remind them to do their homework, and n controlled environment of a high school.  These students that are about to enter a new stage of their life called adulthood.  For the first time in their life, these young people will be grown and there are all types of things that are waiting for them at college.  College holds the opportunity for a chance to learn and grow as well as a chance to become distracted and create permanent outcomes that are not apart of the plan to of being on course.

A Charge to Take Action!

After the ceremony, the gifts, pictures, and the “breaking of bread”, I would like to encourage every parent, mentor, and family member of a young graduate to learn how to have an effective conversation with your child. Communication is the biggest cause of misunderstanding and the dissolution of relationships.  People are doing a whole lot of communication, but don’t know how to do it effectively.  That’s where I come in. Allow me to help you effectively communicate.Do not leave this important task  up to the commencement speaker, but make sure you speak your own keynote address as into a child’s life as well!

Get the new book that is uniting parents and teens everywhere. Read true stories about real teen issues the proper way for adults to deal with them. Don't end up with your foot in your mouth. Become a powerful parent by learning how to talk to your child and heal their issues today. Click on the link http://www.amazon.com to place your order and take advantage of the June Graduation Sale Now!

Address your child’s dreams.

Address your child’s fears.

Address all the things that lay ahead waiting for them.

-Shira Dillon

Shira Dillon has a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences of being a teen, and her 15 years of experience in the public school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the new release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, workshops, and speaking engagements.  To learn more about Shira Dillon or for booking information go to www.shiradillon.blogspot.com 

So Your Children Aren't Acting Right?

More and more teenagers are mouthing off and disrespecting their parents like never before while the world sits back as if the behavior doesn't even exist. I never knew that the release of my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues would increase my parenting consulting business. I have more clients than ever before, and no matter what the situation is, they almost all have to do with some sort of behavior issue.  All my clients have concluded that their teenagers are not behaving appropriately.

Being a high school teacher in South Central, Los Angeles for well over a decade makes me know all too well about teenager's with behavior issues. From disrespectful students with a little too much lip,  violent students, or the mischievous teens who like to steal cars and money for fun, there isn't an issue alive that I haven't dealt with or personally witnessed.  So in my attempts to try to understand why there are so many "hard to deal with" teenagers, I asked the one group that knows more about "hard to deal with teenagers" than Oprah, Dr, Phil, and myself put together. I asked a group of "hard to deal with" teens.

After talking to several teens that have all admitted to talking back to their parents, disrespecting their household, and in some cases physically and verbally assaulting their parents or siblings in the house, I learned something very shocking. Every student said they do these things because their aren't any compelling reasons not to.  The parents haven't set the standard that they shouldn't do it.  So why not?Of course, the underlying reason for them doing these things is because there is a bigger issue going on with the teen that may or may not have anything to do with the parent. So in order for parents to eliminate this behavior they need to first do two things...

1. Give the child a compelling reason to stop the behavior.

2. Open up communication to find out the root cause of the behavior and begin treating that problem.


In my last period class, my group of tenth graders were very talkative.  After two intense days of learning and an early dismissal day today, my students were more focused on socializing then on their assignment when they realized class would be over in less than ten minutes.  With little success, most of the students continued to talk more and more as it became closer for them to leave the campus for the day, and no matter what, there was little I was able to do to get the entire class to be completely silent until the students realized that Ms. Dillon never dismisses a talkative class. Beginning day one of the school year, I implemented a rule that says...

"The bell does not dismiss you, I dismiss you. The bell is simply a signal for me to dismiss the class when I see fit.  A talkative class is not fit to be dismissed."

When the dismissal bell rang, silence fell upon the classroom.  The classroom was so quiet that I was able to hear the ceiling lights.  Even the most unruly students can behave when they have a compelling enough reason.  In this case, the compelling reason was that school was out and they wanted to leave the campus. As long as there is a compelling enough reason, I can get any teenager to do behave and follow the rules.  The skills comes in knowing what the compelling reason is for each teen. Find something compelling enough to get a teen to be respectful and well behaved, and the problems with the teenager will begin to cease.  Once that starts the second step to work on the root of the problem behavior which will ultimately result in the child being well behaved.

It's time to transform our teenagers.  I witness teens everyday who talk constantly, do drugs, engage in promiscuous sex, and have a bad attitude around the house with their parents and yet they have the latest gadgets such as cellphones, ipods, video games, designer shoes, purses, make-up, and expensive hair weave that hangs down their back in a variety of different hair colors. (Yes, I mentioned hair weave!) My students have admitted that they will do anything for their parents to continue to give them these items but since they don't have to do anything for them-they don't!

Some parents say that if they take their child's phone, iPod, make-up, or hair weave, the backlash would be so bad that they would rather just let the child have their way.  As parents and as adults, we have to set some standards with our teenagers and then stick to them.  When we stick to our standards we see results, but if we let our guard down, teens will take it as a sign that it's their world and they can do whatever they want.  At the end of the day, if your children aren't acting right, your first line of defense is to give them a compelling reason to act right. Then, get to the root of the teen's problem so the misbehaving teen can transform into a well behaving teen.  Being a parent is a hard job and you deserve to have children that act right.  I'm cheering for you and if you need help, don't hesitate to contact Shira Dillon's Parenting Consultancy today!

Children, (even "Good Ones") are being Charged with Felonies!

One of the things that saddens me the most about being a teacher is the turn over I see amongst the high school students.  I was taught early on in my teaching career to not become too attach to my students, because oftentimes they won't make it to the end of the school year.  I rejected that belief and have painfully lost students who were sent to continuation schools due to behavior problems.  I have had students to leave the school to return to their home country, drop out because they are pregnant, or even worst, students who were arrested and sent to jail.

I use to think that teenagers could not be charged like an adult, but times have changed. In Florida, a 16 year-old girl with a good record was charged with a felony, after her science project exploded in class.  Kiera Wilmot mixed the wrong chemicals together at home for an assignment that resulted in an explosion. Both Kiera's teacher and administrator told the police that they did not believe that this student purposely came to school in attempts to "blow something up", but in this new terrorist fearing era that we live in, that is exactly how the situation was interpreted.  The 16 year-old student was arrested and charged with a felony.

Earlier this school year a 5 year old Pennsylvania girl in Kindergarten was expelled for telling another girl that she was going to shoot her with a Hello Kitty toy gun that blows bubbles. I am currently the mother of a 5-year old boy and while at school he is exposed to all types of words and conversations. I would be very upset if it was my child that was expelled for making a threat with a bubble gun.  Its hypocritical to expect a 5 year old to know better when they see Buzz Light Year and other toys shoot lasers, and McDonald Happy Meal toys shoot arrows. I am led to believe that this kindergartner who made the threat about using her toy Hello Kitty gun did not intend to cause harm to the other girl. However, in today's society, the phrase "Anything you say or do CAN and WILL be used against you in a court of law" is more real now than ever before. When it comes to the option of jail time age is indeed nothing but a number!

This school year I lost two students as a result of one of my students being charged with a felony.  The boy was interested in one of my female students.  He and this female student both had me for English class.  I would watch the boy and the female student quite often. They always wanted to do their work near one another, and the girl often flirted with the boy.  They had several classes together and eventually took their friendship to another level and continued it outside of school. One day I arrived at school to find out that the girl had reported that this male friend of hers had choked her.  Her mom was at the school and they were very upset.  As a result, my male student was charged with several felonies, put on house arrest and will be charged as an adult.  When this occurred the male student was expelled from school, and the female student transferred voluntarily out of fear of being talked about or harmed by his friends.

I am not in a place to say rather or not the boy assaulted her. I am in a place to say I see boys and girls playing and hitting each other all the time and hitting rather it is for play or for real is against school rules. The signs posted at a school saying "No Horse Playing!" are there for a reason.  There are too many opportunities for students to get in trouble now a days and we as parents need to really be involve with our children lives to help prevent these things from happening.  This isn't a bad student issues.  Now a days, felonies are being assigned to kids on their first offense, rather it was intentional or not.  

I would still like to believe that the odds of our children being charged with a felony are slim.  However, I do want to make my readers aware of the things that I see going on everyday in the schools and want to close this blog with the following acronym to help you remember how to be more connected with your child!

                                               P.S.A> Pay, Stay, and ACT                

1. Pay attention to your child's words, actions, and lack of action. 

2. Stay involved with your child's life in every way possible. Keep a healthy relationship with your child so that you'll know what's going on.

3. Actively communicate with your child and Share some of your own imperfections to make sure that you establish a relationship  built on love instead of a relationship full of fear. 

Now this is truly a P.S.A. (public service announcement.) Children, even the "good ones" are being charged with felonies and are getting in more trouble than even before. As parents, lets remain involve and take our role seriously so we can give society and upstanding gift- our children.

Thank you for reading this blog. Feel free to follow me on google+ or join my fan page at www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens . To become an even more involved parent in your child's life, and to better understand the teenagers of today purchase my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues by Clicking Here! Find me on www.amazon.combuy typing the name Shira Dillon.