Gang Proofing Your Kids! (Part 1)

 

Welcome to my new blog.!!! My name is Shira Dillon and I am a high school teacher in Los Angeles, CA. This blog will explore the mind and life of teenagers today and help adults better connect with them. Please come by often or subscribe so you can receive these bogs by email. And don't forget to like my FB page www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens to unite with me to help public education become a better institution of learning. Our children need it!

It seems like society is always trying to put the blame on someone or something for the many teenage temptations that are swarming around our young people.  As a teacher, I hear people put the blame on us. As an entertainer, I hear that a lot of people put the blame on the celebrity names who are looked at as role models, but fail to do their part. As a parent, I hear people put the blame on us parents. So this morning, I decided to ask my students who's at fault when a child joins a gang.  The answer was unanimous! The students in unison all said THEIR PARENTS!

Wait, I know some of you all may be thinking that isn't fair.  I'm always involved with my child's life.  I am always at the school and participate in school activities.  I talk to my child all the time.  How in the world could my child join a gain? How can I be at fault for this?

The problem is there is ineffective communication between the teen and the parent.  I grew up in a household where no one talked to me about my life.  My students who say their parents talk to them about issues believe that their parent does more talking AT them then talking TO them.  As a result, the teenager begins to go into what I call auto-pilot. They respond  the way that they know you want them to respond and let you leave the conversation thinking you did your parenting duties for the day.

Your child then comes to school and shares what they really are thinking and feeling to their friends. If this keeps going on, by the late teenage years many parents begin to experience a "disconnect."  You know, when the child pretty much just eats and sleeps in the house. Your child becomes the teen that comes homes and gives you one word answers.

Parent: How was school today?
Child: Okay.
Parent: Did you have homework?
Child: No
Parent: Are you hungry?
Child: Not really.

That pretty much sums it up. The child then leaves to "go hang out" or if they have less freedom, they remain in the house and do their chores or other things that may be the ritual and routine for the home. Unfortunately, your teens needs aren't being met. And more unfortunately, when they aren't being met, things like sex, drugs, and even gangs become more enticing.  Yesterday's blog asked the question "Are YOUR needs being met?" It is just as important for teens as it is for all humans to get these 6 basic needs met. (Explanation of the needs can be found in yesterday's blog)

1. Certainty      2. Uncertainty    3. Significance    4. Connection/Love    5. Growth   6. Contribution

Is your home environment strongly and positively providing an opportunity for your child to get all these needs met? What would your child say? Most of my students said that their home is only providing two of these needs. Only two! They also said they would NEVER admit that to their parents.

There are so many other opportunities out there that strongly meet your child's needs. Some in a positive way and some in a negative way. One of these things is the opportunity to join a gang.  They are out there and know how to effectively meet these six needs for your child. 

Tomorrow's blog will break down exactly how gangs meet your child needs and what you can do to be sure that you and your household are fulfilling your child needs so their will be no NEED for gangs, drugs, or any other "elephants in the room."

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher in South, Central Los Angeles. Shira has over 15 years experience working with teenagers and is an expert with helping them and their parents deal with teenage issues. Ms. Dillon is the author of the book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues that share true stories from the authors life, as well as true stories from teenagers and how they deal with their problems. For more information about the book go to www.heyiwantthatbook.blogspot.com For a consultation, email me at shiradillo@gmail.com
Follow me on Twitter @ShiraNicole