Welcome to my new blog.!!! My name is Shira Dillon and I am a high school teacher in Los Angeles, CA. This blog will explore the mind and life of teenagers today and help adults better connect with them. Please come by often or subscribe so you can receive these bogs by email. And don't forget to like my FB page www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens to unite with me to help public education become a better institution of learning. Our children need it!
When my students entered the class, we took the first few minutes copying down the 6 basic human needs identified by Tony Robbins. I then explained these human needs as they relate to my teenage students.
1. Certainty- The need for comfort and security. My students need for their home to always be there for them and their mother to be home by 6pm, and for their school to always provide the services that they provide. Sometimes we take certainty for granted, but if any of these things were altered it would shake our world. We need for certain things to always be there.
2. Uncertainty- As complex as we are as creatures, we need for things to not always be the same. We want variety and the things that spice up life. One year my students got their need for uncertainty from the outbreaks of fights the broke out daily. As negative as that was, it was the only thing around that gave them that excitement of the unknown.
3. Significance- We all want to feel important and special. So when teens dye their hair purple, or take on roles varying from honors kid, band member, cheerleader, class president, or class clown these titles are all contributing to a teens significance.
4. Connection/Love- All people need love and your teen is no different. Whatever is giving your child a sense of connection is where your child is going to gravitate. For some teenager its sports, relationships, and for another teenager it can be a gang. Both of these things are contributing to your child's need for love.
5. Growth- We all have a desire to grow and will grow. Think back to who you were 10 years ago. I can imagine that you are not that person anymore. My 15 year old students have grown drastically since age 5. "The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."- Muhammad Ali
6. Contribution- We all want to give to others in one way or another. It doesn't have to be money. Teenagers contribute by supporting one another as well as with their talents. A high school band played for my schools ribbon cutting ceremony last month. That's contribution. They didn't get paid. They just helped us out, contributed to anther school, and as a result fulfilled their own need for contribution.
Once my students understood these needs, they all agreed that they did need them and that they were very important. I then asked them to look at these needs and tell me which needs are being fulfilled at their current school. The results were amazing. Out of approximately 100 students, the 92 of them said that they were only getting 1 to 2 needs met in school from 8am-3pm everyday. One needs to have at least 3 of these needs being met. This means that when something else comes alone that meets at least 3 or more of these basic needs, there's a good chance that it will lure these teenagers away.
So when we feel like we are losing our teenagers to things such as, sex, drugs, and gangs its because those things are meeting their needs more than school. Sometimes we feel like we lose teenagers to lighter issues such as their cellphones. My students gladly admitted that they get more of their needs met with their smart phone then they get at school, home, or on their job.
So what now?
Do the same thing that I've done with the teenagers that you know. Explain these 6 basic needs to them and ask them to honestly evaluate what needs are getting met and which needs are not at home, in their relationships, and at school. Knowing which needs are being neglected is a sure fire way to put you in the drivers' seat and to help you become a source where your teen can get their needs met before some "elephant" comes along and negatively meet those needs for you.
Shira Dillon is a high school teacher in South, Central Los Angeles. Shira has over 15 years experience working with teenagers and is an expert with helping them and their parents deal with teenage issues. Ms. Dillon is the author of the book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues that share true stories from the authors life, as well as true stories from teenagers and how they deal with their problems. For more information about the book go to www.heyiwantthatbook.blogspot.com For a consultation, email me at shiradillo@gmail.com
Follow me on Twitter @ShiraNicole
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