6 Parenting Tips to Help Teens Prepare for Standardized-Tests!

As a teacher in the state of California, I embark on the task of proctoring several standardized-test to teenagers every school year. The PSAT (Preliminary Scholastic Aptitude Test), SAT, (Scholastic Aptitude Test) ACT,(American College Test) CST (California Standards Test), and the CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) are just a few of the test that I administer to students annually. I know that my teacher friends in other states have there set of test which makes the issue of standardized-testing one that is nationwide. Regardless of how parents, teachers, and teens may feel about the amount of testing that's done in today's school, the fact remains that testing is a reality for all students. In fact, in order for today's students to graduate high-school, most must pass a standardized-test known as the High School Exit Exam. So while the debate continues concerning the amount and quality of standardized-testing, my responsibility as a teacher is to ensure my students are prepared. As much of a duty I have in preparing my students to take tests, experience has proven that when parents and teachers join forces, it results in a more successful outcome.

When parents include these tips in their household, teens become better prepared and have an overall better testing experience.

Tip #1.  Sit Down and Have a Test Talk.

Like a pep-talk, a test-talk is a great way to let your child know that you are aware of what's taking place at school.  Many of today's standardized-test are similar or the same type of test that were given during the time period the parents were in school. Did you ever take the SAT? Have you ever had test anxiety? Don't hesitate to share that you have taken standardized-test during your years in school. When teens are able to break the ice and let go of there anxiety, it makes a dramatic difference when they enter the testing room.

Tip #2 Print Out Practice Questions

Most, if not all standardized test have practice release questions that can be accessed online. As a teacher, I gather many resources online. I wish I could say there's some secret society of testing information only available to teachers,  but the truth now is that there is a plethora of information accessible to anyone who knows how to navigate the world wide web. Print out practice test questions with the answers and have your child work on the practice questions. You can check your child's answers with the answer sheet provided on the page. Being a teenager, doesn't mean that the child is too old to sit at the table and do homework under your direction. They may put up a fuss, but so many teenagers tell me that's what they desire from their parents.

Tip #3 Positive Affirmations! 

Provide your child with positive affirmations and teach them how to do positive self-talk. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a teenager say, "I'm no good at test." I could retire and spend my days relaxing on my own private island. Teenagers have so much negative self-talk going on in their head that positive affirmations are essential to the self-esteem of  a child before, during, and even after a standardized-test. Positive Affirmations need to be your child's go to method for building his/herself up daily. Use your position as a parent and teach your child how to incorporate daily affirmations. It doesn't matter if you choose the affirmations from a bible, an affirmation book, or the internet; teaching your teen how to engaged in positive self talk works wonders!

Tip #4. Make Sure Your Teen Gets Enough Sleep.

This is an oldie but goodie tip. We have heard this one for years and while many teens may think its unrealistic for their parents to do a "lights out" on them the night before the test, it certainly is beneficial. Make sure your child is in the bed early enough the night before testing. Even if your child does not fall asleep immediately, the stillness of the night will have a calming effect that your teen will benefit from.

Tip #5.  Punctuality is Everything.

Make sure your child is EARLY to school on test day. Many schools have alternate bell schedules for testing and usually have students report to a different testing site.  While small changes may not seem like a big deal, showing up to Period 1 in building 4  right on time turns into being very late when the testing site for the day is in the Library located on the 2nd floor of building 2. The extra minutes lost can easily add to the child's testing anxiety and result in increase stress levels. Ensuring your child arrives early allows the your teen time to get settled and relaxed before the issuing of the test.

Tip #6.  Follow Up For Reflection.

Let's not have our teens take the test only for it to become a forgotten feat. Instead, lets put on some accountability and some reinforcement. Again, its a tag-team partnership that the parent and teacher embarks into to ensure the ultimate level of success for the child.  You can have this reflection at Yogurtland, over a game of chess, or while splitting a slice of pound cake at your local Starbucks.  The important things to include with the reflection is to make a moment out of it with your teen. Many times following up appears to be a lecture of some sorts to teens, so having it in a relax environment puts the teen off the defense. The social outing helps to provide a sense of community and illustrates that education is important in the child's household.

To learn more parenting tips or to audit a certified parenting course for FREE, send your email to sshiradillo@gmail.comAll classes are currently being held in Los Angeles, CA at various locations or your can join one of the over the phone programs.

 Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.

Is Your Child Apart Of The Victim Syndrome?

Imagine these possible scenarios!

Your son’s teacher calls and informs you that your child threw a pencil at Sandy in class. When you ask your child about the incident, your child tells you that Sandy through the pencil at him.

You walk into your living room and catch your daughter tossing a ball only to notice that one of your house plants have been knocked over. An array of dirt is scattered heavily on the floor. When you ask your child about the incident, she insists that it was the ball and not her that knocked over your beloved Yucca house plant.

Do any of these stories sound familiar?

Much like the game of dodge ball, over and over again children duck and dodge taking responsibility for their own behavior. They will find some way to shift the blame and place themselves as the victim in the situation. Some children are so good at it that you may find yourself agreeing with the child. I know parents who have been convinced that it was the ball and not their child that knocked over the plant.

Children who fail to take responsibility for their actions become adults who fail to take responsibility for their actions. 

So how do you take this common situation and treat it before it becomes a pathological condition that remains with the child well into adulthood?

Click here for information on how to teach your child to take responsibility for their actions.

The Victim Syndrome is a pathological condition where people repeatedly blame others for mistreatment when the source of their problems lies within themselves.

The 3 Parts to the Victim Syndrome.

1. Victim- The victim continuously makes flawed judgments and is continuously unwilling to take responsibility. It’s the “Say it wasn’t You!” Complex. It’s All the other person’s fault.

2. Rescuer- These are the people that the victims go after to be rescued. In many two parenting households, victims often choose one of the parents to be the rescuer. The rescuer is the person the victim runs to in order to feel better.

3. Persecutor- The persecutor is the person the victim says is responsible for whatever it is that has happened to them. What’s interesting is that the rescuer oftentimes becomes the persecutor.  As soon as the rescuer wises up and recognizes the victim is failing to take responsibility, the victim now has a new person to shift the blame. Thus, the rescuer is now one of the victims many persecutors.

What’s amazing about the Victim Syndrome is that we see this over and over again in our adult relationships. I feel compelled to write another blog on this same topic showing how children who grow up as victims become adults that ruin many aspects of their lives because they fail to take responsibility.

Here's a list of just a few of the problems that a child who does not get the victim syndrome handled experience as an adult.

-Job Instability

-Failed Relationships

-Financial Irresponsibility

-Academic Failure

-Lack of Friends

 The list can go on and on.  In my FREE Webinar, I will be teaching you how to recognize the victim syndrome in your child and how to distinguish this characteristic before it festers into a full blown pathological condition that can cause all types of problems throughout your child's life.

I bet we all know some adults that love to play the victim. The tips and information in my Free Webinar will be beneficial for adults too. The victim syndrome dates back to Genesis. It dates back to Adam and Eve when Adam blamed Eve for the consumption of the forbidden fruit. Eve then blamed the serpent.  If you think that playing the victim syndrome won’t lead to bigger problems, think again.

I’m excited that we can treat this condition and not just put a band-aid on it.  Parents are key to being a home remedy for this behavior so it will not spread as the child gets older.

To get access to the webinar click on the link http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR You do not have to watch this webinar live in real time. Feel free to listen to it in your spare time at your leisure. http://a.pgtb.me/vtF7rR

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

Three Approaches to Raising Children. Which one is yours?

There are multiple parenting styles and techniques in the world but only a few approaches. Studies show that most parenting styles and techniques can be narrowed down to three approaches.

Knowing what theses approaches are helps us parents take an objective look at ourselves and our parenting. This article is not suggesting what’s right or wrong. Your own thoughts and convictions will determine which approach you find more favorable.

The 3 Approaches to Parenting are below. Read to find out which approach is your current parenting method.  

#1. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is an approach where the parents allow the child to decide how to behave. The child then learns from the consequences of their actions.  Permissive parents usually believe that adults should never use the power of authority to punish children.

Pro:  The child takes personal responsibility for his/her actions due to choice and not force.

Con: The parenting approach removes the adult from the equation and the child becomes responsible for their own parenting.

What it looks like:

What it sounds like: “I suppose you’ll clean your room when you feel like it.” “You can go to bed whenever you want to go.”

#2. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian Parenting is the oldest and most widely used approach for raising children. In this method parents take charge by using their power and authority to punish their children in order to teach them what to do. 

Pro: Children learn to follow orders and to conform to existing conditions.

Con: Children grow up to be outer-directed, meaning that they look to people outside themselves to decide what to think and how to act.

What it looks like: 

What is sounds like: Command Statements. “Sit Down.” “Shut Up.” “Clean up this room now! “Hurry it up.”

#3. Breakthrough Parenting

Breakthrough Parenting is when the responsibility for solving problems is shared between parent and child. The child is not given permission to not be responsible, nor is the child given commands on what exactly to do. Instead parents guide their children in responsibility.

Pro: This approach teaches children through discipline instead of punishment.

Con: For many people, Breakthrough Parenting is not an approach that comes naturally because it wasn't around in previous generations. It is a new skill and an approach that requires exposure and practice.

What it looks like:

What is sounds like: “Since your room is a mess, what area do you want to start cleaning up first?” “It’s bedtime. Would you like to say prayers first or have a story?”

I know I was brought up in an authoritarian home. That’s just the way it was, and I hear so many people say that they turned out okay..…..and we have turned out okay. But for those parents who are like me, that are out there looking for new ways to give their child an even better experience than the one’s they had growing up, Breakthrough Parenting  just may be worth looking into.  

  

There is a FREE webinar that will cover Breakthrough Parenting techniques. Imagine parenting as a toolbox, and your skills/methods are the tools. You will always benefit with more tools in your toolbox. Sometimes we use our old tools because they’re comfortable, familiar, and effective and sometimes we look for the new fancy gadgets because they are absolutely wonderful and they make life easier. Get where I’m going?

So to get some new tools and to sharpen up some of your old tools, join me as I host a free Webinar. This free Webinar will cover the following…

-Assuring your child’s success

-The Parents Role As A Child’s Steward

-Discipline Vs. Punishment

-Outer Directed Vs. Inner Directed

-Fear Based Parenting Vs. Love Based Parenting

-…And much, much more.

Register for the FREE online seminar scheduled Friday, August 8, 2014 at 10:00 PST. The Webinar will be emailed to you so if you are not available to attend during that time, you will be able to watch the Webinar anytime at your own convenience.  Once you receive your email confrontation with all the details, feel free to forward the information to friends or family members that may be interested. Take advantage of this $79.99 value for FREE!

To sign up for the the Webinar, simply send an email to shiradillon@gmail.com and include your first and last name, phone number, and preferred email address. A conformation email will be sent to you containing all the details. Take advantage of an opportunity to learn Breakthrough Parenting with Shira!

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

Top 3 Private Places That Are Now Public On Social Media!

Lets face it. Everyone enjoys their privacy. It's the reason why we have locks on our doors, passwords on our accounts, and keys to our diaries that hold the innermost secrets to our heart. For many people in today's generation, journals, photo albums, and other keepsakes are becoming extinct because, let's face it, with a click of a button we can just post it on social media. This electronic database on the web now documents and publishes what use to be our most private thoughts and intimate memories. It makes me sometimes yearn for the good old days when we had designated locations to be ourselves, exposed our inner freaks, and ironed out our dirty laundry. Instead with the click of a button and a social media account, confidentiality now becomes a reality for all to read, watch, degrade, mock, and dote on.

So here are my top 3 places that are losing its privacy because its now being played out on social media instead of where it was intended to play out.

1. The Bedroom. The bedroom is the most intimate place in the home.  It was where "ALL THE MAGIC" happened. Today we can see that magic with one finger click on social media.  It was one thing when internet porn became a spreading breed, but social media is with many of the people we personally know. It is where we meet up with old and new friends, family members, and people that one can easily run into at the corner store. Unfortunately, what happened last night in a person's bedroom can easily be seen on a social media newsfeed instantaneously. The delete button is not the solution. People need to think twice before they post a picture, video, or a descriptive essay of what's going on in the bedroom. What a person does in their bedroom is truly their business; not the world's business. 

2. The ManCave. Remember how Al Bundy from Married with Children would go in his basement, and Dan from Rosanne would go in his garage?  Every man needs a man cave. A place where men can go and be men. They can tuck their hands comfortably in their crotch, drink beer, and look at naked pics of women in provocative poses until their hearts content. Now, the ManCave can easily be seen at a social media timeline near you. I won't go into detail of all that is said and done in a Man Cave but I will say that it was meant to be private. Sometimes women don't need to see that side of a man and sometimes men need to be able to be men without the subconscious influence of other women.

3. The Closet. Do you remember that "closet" where people would keep their skeletons? That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Some skeletons need to remain in the closet. All 5,000 of your Facebook friends or twitter followers do not need to know your skeletons. And let me tell you something, they are not going to tell you there's anything wrong with you exposing your skeletons because your life tragedies are apart of their entertainment enjoyment. There are a host of things that's going on that do not need to be aired out all over social media. Do Your Work and Fix Your Life! Empty out the skeletons in your closet with a counselor, therapist, or life coach that can actually help you and not on your social media where you become the entertainment of hundreds of people who are tuned into your page like you're a ratchett reality star.

It's not social media's fault that what was once private and secluded is now public. It's the individual users that choose to be too much of an open book. The bedroom, man-cave, and closet kept people out of your business. Now everyone is in everyone else's business and yet it's......None of their business!

Shira Dillon was born in Gary, Indiana. She holds a Master's Degree in Secondary Education, and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech, Theater, and English Education.  Shira is a SAG/AFTRA actress and comedian that infuses her talents in the entertainment industry, her own childhood experiences, and her 15+ years of experience in the school system to help parents and teens all over the country fix their life and relationships.  With the release of her teen self-help book, Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues, Shira has been highly sought out for parenting/teaching consulting, coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements.  You can email Shira Dillon for a free consultation and for any inquiries +Shira Nicole shiradillo@gmail.com

Is your child's school prepared for an Arapahoe HS, Sandy Hook, Columbine situation? Check out These Tips to Get Prepared!!!

One of the trainings this year for me and my fellow teachers before the start of the school year was an active shooter training led by the Los Angeles School Police.  In awake of Sandy Hook and several other school shootings, the police department made it a priority to educate teachers and other school personnel on what to do in such a dangerous situation.  If you are a parent like I am, you want to be able to rest assure that your child is safe while at school and away from your presence throughout the day.  While there is no way to guarantee safety, there are ways to make sure your child's school is prepared in case an active shooter is on campus.

1. Figure Out What’s Going On. Build Your Awareness.- 

The more a person knows about what’s going on, the better decisions the person will make.  Knowing the location of the active shooter is key in helping the child's school make a sound decision on what action to take next.

2. Find A Way To Survive.- Studies have shown that people who survived a life-threatening situation all had survival as their focus.  Instead of fearing being hurt, or thinking that you don’t want to die, change your thoughts into the positive and focus on Surviving. 

3. Be Well Trained For Emergencies.- Having occasional drills for the staff to know what to do in an active shooter situation, as strange as that may sound to a more "seasoned" population,  can help better impact everyone. Knowing where the exit and emergency doors are key?

4    4. Don’t Forget That You Can Leave The School.- In times pass, teachers were told that they must stay on campus at all times and cannot take kids off campus without parent permission. It was noted that teachers sometimes try to hide and protect their students in the classroom  in active shooter type situations and become“sitting ducks”. Now the police officers are spreading awareness that if one can, teachers may take the students off campus to a safe location.  Don’t wait for the active shooter to   “accidently” come across you. Leave.

5   5. If all fails, you may have to Fight Back. If you find yourself in the room with an active shooter, don’t be afraid to collectively Fight Back. Yes, I was surprise about this statement too, but police officers say that the victims almost always in a school setting out-number the shooter.  If the shooter is an “Active” shooter the officers advised coming together to throw books, charge the gunman, spread out, do whatever one need. In a case where it is inedible that someone is going to get hurt, fighting back  can possibly decreased the number of injuries.  (i.e. Think about the passengers on the flight to Pennsylvania during 911 when they collectively took down the terrorist.)

All and all, there is no way to guarantee safety if there is an active shooter at your child’s school. I know that everyday I teach my son to be a beacon of love as I hope that he will keep love surrounding him. Perfect love casts out fear.  However, since this isn’t a perfect world, and we cannot ever be completely safe, it is helpful to know what teachers, (like myself) are being taught to protect children. I teach in a high school in South Central, Los Angeles and I know if the day ever comes where there is an active shooter, I pray that my inner-spirit guides me to keep every single child safe. Ultimately, “When in doubt, trust your gut.”  Allow your gut, that infinite intelligence part of you to guide and protect you, your love ones, and your community in a state of emergency.

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher and author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  A non-fiction book geared toward teenagers, teachers and parents about the honest reality of social issues that teenagers face and how to survive them. Order a book for yourself at amazon.com or purchase some for a gift.  

Click to order Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues

The Answers You Seek May Be Right In Front Of You!

Have you ever had a question that you asked to God, the universe of just out loud and had the answer come to you soon after?

I believe that the best way to get a questioned answered is by asking yourself out loud!

Sure, it is not as fun or engaging as discussing it with a friend but to get clear directions try writing it down and/or asking out loud first.

When you let the universe know that you need an answer the Law of Attraction begins working to bring you that answer, and it is our RESPONSIBILITY to keep both eyes open so we can receive that answer.

For those of you who are seeking answers for stability and cooperation in your home, desire to have a better relationship with your children, or want to be a better parent then the answer you may seek is right in front of you.

Today, Monday, November 25, 2013 I am giving away a FREE E-Book that holds the answers to numerous parenting questions.

                                                                     Sex
                                                                    Drugs
                                                                    Abuse
                                                                    Health
                                                                    Death
                                                               and many more.
Click to get your FREE GIFT now!

Are you a parent or grandparent wanting to learn how to deal with teen issues?

                                Do you need help discussing sensitive issues?

Are you a teen who need answers but realize that there is no one around that understands you?

If you answered YES to any of these questions you need MY FREE GIFT!

If you know someone who would answer YES to any of these questions than you might be there answer! Give them this FREE Gift!

Simply click the link below to go to amazon.com and download the free ebook! It will be FREE today Monday, Nov. 25th and Tuesday Nov. 26th.

Do me a favor! Even if you are not planning to get your free gift can you share this blog with your friends! My book may very well contain the answer to their prayers and the solution to some of their needs. You will feel GREAT that you were the one that helped them. In return, your friend will be grateful!!! Lets improve a life and help people get the answers they need! <3 Shira Dillon

Clickk here for your FREE Ebook!

The answers you seek is just a click away. Click the link and get the answer you've been seeking!

Get Some Boundaries and Have Them Respected!!!

In Steve Harvey's book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, he tells his readers that it is crucial for women to set up boundaries/standards of what women will and will NOT take and to make that known to the pursuer in a dating relationship.

I agree that it is important for both parties in a romantic relationship to establish boundaries, but this  should not stop with a romantic relationship.

                                 We need boundaries in parent-child relationships!!!

              Sign up now for a FREE class that will teach you how to set boundaries!

-Boundaries are needed in a host of different relationships. Especially when the members of the relationship live in the same household such as parent-child relationships.

-Both the boundaries of the parent as well as the child (after a certain age) should be agreed upon and honored.

-Boundaries mark when a person feels comfortable or uncomfortable, safe or unsafe, loved or unloved.

-Relationships fail, even parent-child relationships, when boundaries are not honored.

If you have a child that is not respecting boundaries, then there are three things that must be in place to begin helping that child to honor the boundaries established for the household.

 1.  Parents show your children what it means to recognize and respect other's boundaries through your own personal example.  

Today's generation are not accepting the "do as I say, not as I do" cliche of the past.

2. Parents insist that your boundaries are respected as well. 

Do not fall in a permissive state and allow your children to disrespect the boundaries.

3. Be honest and admit your mistakes.  It takes a healthy self-esteem to admit you have violated another's boundaries and to apologize.

While Steve Harvey encourages his female readers to establish boundaries at the beginning of the relationship and to use these boundaries in determining when to exit the relationship, a parent-child relationship is one that we should never terminate.

If there are little to no boundaries in your household then GET SOME.

If the boundaries are not being respected then GET HELP.

Parenting Coaches and Consultants can easily help a family get back on tract by supporting the parent and helping the parent fix some of the normal issues that come with raising children.

It makes sense to get help from someone who is well studied and experienced in these matters with a proven track record.

I am a parenting coach and consultant and can help you set some boundaries in your household.

If you ready to move your family from struggle to cooperation then feel free to contact me for support i at shiradillon@gmail.com

There's a great Breakthrough out there for your family.

You just have to be willing to go get it.

Thank You for Reading!

Shira Dillon is a Certified Master Breakthrough Parenting Instructor and Consultant. Shira is a proud mother of her six year old son. She has counselled children and parents for over fifteen years as a school teacher with both the Los Angeles Unified School District as well as the Gary Community School Corp and is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants:How To Deal With Teenage Issues.  To remain in touch with Shira and to learn about her free upcoming parenting class and book giveaway email her at shiradillon@gmail.com and like her FB page ParentsTeachersandTeens for free parenting tips.  

LOVE OR FEAR: WHAT GUIDES YOUR PARENTING?

It has been said that there are only two motivating forces in life.

These forces are Love and Fear. 

When we operate in love we are operating at our best self.

When we parent in love we are parenting at our best self.

In order for an adult to improve the situations in the home between parent and child one must honestly take time to look within and to evaluate their own parenting styles.

Are you parenting in a force of love or fear?

It is possible to operate in both love and fear but NOT at the same time.

Parents normally shift between love and fear based on the circumstances that are thrown their way.

When children do good things, the essence of a parent's being become flooded with love.

When children misbehave, a parent may engulf a spirit of fear that can result in raised voices, harsh words, and severe punishment in order to show the child the consequences of their poor behavior.

This is how many people have grown up for centuries.

We send out vibrations of love when things are going well and in turn spew out vibrations of fear, anger, and guilt when things are bad.

It's what we have been exposed to as the way to solve problems in the home and to make the child obey.

                                However, how do you feel when you are operating in fear?
                             
                                Find Out What Teenagers Are Saying by Clicking Here!

What emotions are you releasing on yourself, your children, and everyone in your path?

In heated situations, are you allowing love to guide your parenting or have your emotions shifted into fear?

                                  To Learn More Sign Up for A FREE Parenting Class

I want to breakdown 3 approaches to raising children.  Two of these approaches have been existing and in heavy practice since the beginning of time. But only one of these approaches keeps the parent and child in the force of love no matter the obstacle that the family may be dealing with.

                         Read the three types of parenting and determine which one are you?

1. Permissive Parenting- the children are allowed to unfold without the direction of their parents. It is assumed that the child will naturally make the right choices when ready. (i.e., Johnny, whenever you are ready to clean your room, I suppose you'll do it.  I'll just let you sit in a dirty room until you figure out you should clean it.)

2.  Authoritarian Parenting-  is the oldest and most widely-used approach. Parents take charge by using their power and authority to punish their children in order to teach them what to do. (i.e., Johnny, clean up this room now or there will be no television for a week! Do it NOW!)

3.  Breakthrough Parenting- the responsibility for solving problems is shared between parent and child. Parents teach by using discipline instead of punishment. Parents use influence instead of control. (i.e., Johnny, your room is a mess, what is your plan for cleaning this room? Tell me the best way for you to clean your room immediately?

When I first began studying Breakthrough Parenting, I couldn't say that I operated as a breakthrough parent. I was not raised by a breakthrough parent.  While I liked the shared responsibility between mother and child, I felt that "Clean your room now was just as effective." It wasn't until I began studying and talking to thousands of teens, young adults, and parents that I learned that there is always ways to improve on our parenting methods.

Children who feel that they are being controlled with anger, punishment, and loud outbursts eventually rebel and experience emotional consequences in their adult life.

While these methods may seem to work initially, the method is only temporary.

Oftentimes, when we instill fear in our children to get them to behave, it's equivalent to putting a band-aid on a festering sore.

We need to instill love in our children for long lasting results while teaching them how to become responsible members of society.

My goal for my own children and the 500 plus students I teach each year as a high school English and Theater Teacher is for every child to develop self-mastery.

Self-Mastery is the power to control one's actions, impulses, and emotions.

                                         Are you a self-mastered person?
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Breakthrough Parenting with love is a great way to learn self-mastery and to turn any parenting struggles into cooperation.

If anything you've read has sparked an interest, please feel free to email me at shiradillon@gmail.com
Email the word CLASS if you are interested in a FREE class to learn more about Breakthrough Parenting.

People spend countless number of dollars and time in education and training for their careers.

             How much time and training have you spent on the career of being a parent?

Join me for a free online video class about Breakthrough Parenting.

In it you will learn...

-Effective discipline in a way that promotes willing cooperation from your children
-How to communicate so that everyone listens and understands
-Resolve conflicts quickly and easily with win/win methods
- .......and much much more!

You can enroll in the online video class of Breakthrough Parenting w/ Shira by doing any of the following....

1. Email the word FREE to shiradillon@gmail.com
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To become an even more involved parent in your child's life, and to better understand the teenagers of today purchase my new book Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How to Deal with Teenage Issues by Clicking Here! Or by checking the book our on amazon. Order a hardcopy or download an e-book for your kindle today! Order Now!

After the Not-Guilty Verdict...Will Things Change or Will There Be More of the Same?

I have received several inboxes asking me my opinion concerning the verdict in the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman Case. While I have my opinions, my mind is on a form of action.  What are we doing to be the CHANGE we want to see in this world? Actions truly speak louder than words, so while the news is fresh, I will read statuses of disappointment and awareness.  And as I search for a silver lining in this dark cloud I can honestly say I have learned beneficial things about African-American history; the names of young people who had been murdered and forgotten about before Trayvon Martin.  But as the weeks past, I urged people to take (constructive) action. Be a part of a solution! Life is not just about our small circle of friends. We must use our lives to benefit us all because injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

I challenge all Americans that are disappointed (once again) in our judicial system, to NOT lay themselves on the mercy of the court. There is one thing that we have that no one can take away from us as long as we are breathing and that is our mind, which must be strengthen by an education.  We can do powerful things with our mind if we use it to focus on the right things. 

Here are a few things that we can begin doing right now to be the CHANGE we want to see in the world. I have formulated this in the acrynoymn C.H.A.N.G.E. to make this easier for you to remember. Just 3 of these things will begin to make a great improvement in your life and in the lives of those you encounter.

C- Compliment. Find something every day that you can compliment. A person, an action, or a nice breeze on the summer day is a great start. The more we find things to compliment the less we will complain. I want to take the time to compliment the courage and incredible strength that Trayvon Martin’s family and friends found to not only testify but to sit through the trial re-living and re-hearing the awful events that led to the shooting of a young, un-armed, college-bound African American boy.  I also want to compliment each person who experienced so much anger to the point that they wanted to riot or cause damage due to their frustration over the verdict but chose not to do so.  Stereotypes about a race are NOT facts, but sometimes they may appear to be true by the actions of a few. I compliment each person who has chosen the high road in spite of the lowness of the legal system in Florida.

H- Happiness. Find something to be happy about.  While I am not happy about this verdict, I am happy that Trayvon’s name will live on, and that his unfortunate death raised an awareness in this country that can result in a resolution for African-Americans that are well overdue.  I am happy that no ill deed goes unpunished.  I am happy for the peaceful demonstrations that have gotten nationwide attention, the extra love and prayers that the Martin family have received, and for the foundation that is being formed in Trayvon’s name.  I am happy that I have received more people emailing me that they want to help me work with youth and their parents.  There is always something to be happy about if we look for it. Judicial systems of this country may fail, but I am happy that God never fails.

A-Action. Do something! There’s an old Chinese Proverb that says “Talk doesn’t cook rice.”  I would like to add to it, neither does FB likes.  While having an educated conversation about the issue can do some good, it is most effective when it is followed up by a plan of action. Take action to get involved in your community.  Do something that will benefit the greater good.  Sometimes we get so caught up on our own ambitions “grinding” and trying to outdo others, that all our hard work is in vain.  Do we want to be hamsters running on a platinum and diamond studded hamster wheel going nowhere, or do we want to be on the right path in order to leave a mark in this earth that will benefit us all?

N- No Negativity. Perhaps this is a double negative in itself but this NEEDS to be said.  We are energy. We are all the same energy. No one but you has control over your energy and how you use it. While I like to laugh and joke like the next person, in serious situations I see so much energy wasted laughing, joking and saying negative things about people.  There was no need for so much time, attention, and energy to be spent on making fun of witnesses testifying on Trayvon Martin’s behalf when that same time, attention, and effort could have been spent on praying for the witnesses, the Martin Family, and the outcome of the case. Let's not operate in negativity while trying to attract something positive. This may not be a popular statement but what is popular is not always right.

G- Gratitude. I tell you right now that being grateful brings more things for you to be grateful about. And if you are being grateful you won’t be operating in negativity.  I have read FB statuses of friends who cannot sleep because of the trial and who are fearing for the lives of their own family with a verdict that makes many to believe that a black person’s life is of no value in America.  I understand those feelings. I feel the same way. However, after we mourn this tragic outcome, lets make sure that to ensure change for our people that we focus on gratitude.  Your life is the result of your most dominant thoughts. If all we think about is injustice and how wrong everything is for our people in this world, the more wrong we will get.  We all have something to be thankful for. There are things wrong with America, but I will concentrate on all the things I am grateful for while living in this country. Being in a positive state gives me the power to be a leader, and to go out into my community to help young people and their parents. If I have a defeated, victim mentality, I won’t be able to Change anything. 

E- Expectation. When the verdict was read and released all over the media Saturday evening, I looked to my FB wall for reactions, and I did not see one person who said that they were truly shocked. As I watched the news Saturday night, every person on the discussion panel admitted that they were not surprise, and to be honest I was not in disbelief myself. So why didn’t the majority of America expect a non-guilty verdict? What could we have done differently as a people that could have increased our expectations.  In life, to correctly create change in the world, we must EXPECT it.  It is time to raise our expectations, increase our actions, and become empowered so our voice is not just a voice. We want to become a collective movement in society to get things done and CHANGED!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for taking the time to read the words form my heart and I urge you all to get involved in some way, shape, or form, to be the change you want to see in this world. If you would like to help me, Shira Dillon, a high school teacher for over 15 years, author, speaker, and parenting consultant with my latest community project to help young people and their parents all you need to do is email me the words HELP in the subject line at shiradillon@gmail.com and I will keep you informed on how you can help create CHANGE in the world.  

Shira Dillon is a high school teacher in Los Angeles, CA. For over 15 years, Shira has worked with young people and their parents in order to build healthy relationships and help them make productive decisions for their life. Shira Dillon is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Other Elephants: How To Deal With Teenager Issues, an insightful book to help young people reach their highest potential in society while helping adults relate to youth better. This book in now only $4.99 on Amazon Kindle. http://tinyurl.com/ogzkj4b

Ms. Dillon is also the founder of Parents, Teachers, and Teens which is a FB page to help strengthen the relationship between adults and young people. With the outpouring of senseless murders of misinformed adults thinking that an unarmed young person in a threat, now more than ever are parents, teachers, and teens needed to help mend the gap between adults and youth. Help me help others by going to www.facebook.com/ParentsTeachersandTeens. If you have already liked parents, teachers, and teens and want to help more, simply share this blog and you will be one step closer to being the CHANGE you wish to see in the world! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!